tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74239977260784025872023-11-16T03:51:42.970-08:00Ed in GriefWendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-78026514422913911602016-08-24T10:39:00.001-07:002017-02-15T04:40:57.802-08:00Catch me at A Dish Of KindnessHi!<br />
<br />
To catch my current posts, please catch me at <a href="http://adishofkindness.blogspot.ca./">adishofkindness.blogspot.ca.</a><br />
<br />
See you there!<br />
<br />
Warmly<br />
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WendyWendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-3072875814035078672014-05-31T16:38:00.001-07:002014-06-02T14:51:04.385-07:00YYC Death Cafe Gets New Hosts....<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVgpPe6fksDOq1rFEDHVrKB3yKzLYGQo0mSd2c_hQGD5nHyMPgFQ-C9pctZve05WETc0kxXFRqrBt2H0SZpn76t3Kumavutl9Ea-hVfvx03qBjcYcMcw_pL6wHLkFDfqb-VX3izL7yKNAC/s1600/Death+Cafe+June+2013+Landsberg+am+Lech+Kurchak.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVgpPe6fksDOq1rFEDHVrKB3yKzLYGQo0mSd2c_hQGD5nHyMPgFQ-C9pctZve05WETc0kxXFRqrBt2H0SZpn76t3Kumavutl9Ea-hVfvx03qBjcYcMcw_pL6wHLkFDfqb-VX3izL7yKNAC/s1600/Death+Cafe+June+2013+Landsberg+am+Lech+Kurchak.JPG" height="236" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Dear Death Café Guests:</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I’ve had the pleasure of facilitating eight Death Cafes in
Calgary over the past year; however, last Sunday’s cafe, on May 25th, was my final Death Café for now.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I invited people to meet for cake and conversation about
death, dying, and grief; the stories, wisdom, and courage which I’ve heard from
over 350 guests have taught me lessons about life which I now hold dear.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I’m pleased now to hand over the Calgary Death Café forum to two
women who have attended the majority of my cafes: Janine Violini and Jamie
Whittaker. I’m looking forward to attending, as a participant, the Death Cafes
that these compassionate, knowledgeable, and fun women will create.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">You’ll be able to contact Janine and Jamie at <a href="mailto:yycdeathcafe@gmail.com">yycdeathcafe@gmail.com</a>, and their upcoming
cafes will be posted on the Death Café website at <a href="http://www.deathcafe.com/">www.deathcafe.com</a> .</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So, what am I going to be doing instead of Death Cafes? Death and Dying Dinner Parties! These will be
meaningful conversations about life, death and dying, but now over dinner - a
little more intimate conversations, a little more food. Actually, a lot more food!</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If you would like
more information about these new events, stay tuned to this page.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Thank YOU, for participating in one
or more Calgary Death Cafes. I applaud your brave quest to understand it means
to really live, and die. I hope that your life has been enriched by your
experience at Death Café.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I leave you with the quote with
which I have ended the Death Cafes:</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="line-height: 115%;">“Before we can generate compassion
and love, it is important to have a clear understanding of what we understand
compassion and love to be. In simple terms, compassion and love can be defined
as positive thoughts and feelings that give rise to such essential things in
life as hope, courage, determination, and inner strength. In the Buddhist tradition,
compassion and love are seen as two aspects of the same thing: Compassion is
the wish for another being to be free from suffering; love is wanting them to
have happiness." </span></i><span style="line-height: 115%;"> His Holiness the Dalai Lama</span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">My friends, may you be happy.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Warmly</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Wendy Kurchak</span></span>Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-74311981978627037792014-05-13T22:46:00.002-07:002014-05-13T22:46:56.730-07:00Death Cafe is "SOLD OUT" on May 25th<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsh8cuvT3HrnL8VkMinqfB_9-xES_va5ZA3pChPVaXzyTy9DsW4CTwFnMldGZmsqcbfElBhJ8S1Tdq5VyJhUBv87XuDSMIdcGTodAh33A-KjkK5b_0f646HZS9c7ayVgmSLIFYuIA0vwHE/s1600/death+cafe+june+9+2013+019.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsh8cuvT3HrnL8VkMinqfB_9-xES_va5ZA3pChPVaXzyTy9DsW4CTwFnMldGZmsqcbfElBhJ8S1Tdq5VyJhUBv87XuDSMIdcGTodAh33A-KjkK5b_0f646HZS9c7ayVgmSLIFYuIA0vwHE/s1600/death+cafe+june+9+2013+019.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of the Death Cafes in 2013</td></tr>
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<![endif]-->If "raising awareness about death and dying, in order to encourage living life to its fullest" is the mandate of a Death Cafe, many Calgarians will be living life more abundantly after May 25th.<br />
<br />
That's the date of the next Calgary Death Cafe, and it is now completely full. It would be "SOLD OUT" except, it's free!<br />
<br />
I'm looking forward to spending the afternoon with the registered guests - talking about all things related to death, dying, and grief.<br />
<br />
Stay tuned to this site for future Death Cafe events.<br />
<br />
Warmly<br />
Wendy Kurchak<br />
<br />Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-11945652970548850452014-03-29T19:35:00.000-07:002014-03-29T19:35:20.423-07:00New Death Cafe MAY 25, 2014<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmovz8_NwgeYfDZVeQDYP2Mp72McqedbtCRbtdM29IcYdwuGUaEzPeVU9WiKoHSJ_LtgH3pWJ2caifpKCoSE8e1PBfrYcV14uV2f2Iy2_dCWTXq_eY1iZqZ0pBoqbTf-rzzpa-FAuuUYmG/s1600/Death+Cafe+landsberg+angel+for+facebook.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmovz8_NwgeYfDZVeQDYP2Mp72McqedbtCRbtdM29IcYdwuGUaEzPeVU9WiKoHSJ_LtgH3pWJ2caifpKCoSE8e1PBfrYcV14uV2f2Iy2_dCWTXq_eY1iZqZ0pBoqbTf-rzzpa-FAuuUYmG/s1600/Death+Cafe+landsberg+angel+for+facebook.JPG" height="227" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo: near site of Landsberg Hospice, Bavaria. W.Kurchak</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="GCUXF0KCD2B">
<span class="GCUXF0KCA2B GCUXF0KCKXB"></span> </div>
<br />
Hi Everyone!<br />
<br />
With all the the snow we've had in Calgary, perhaps we need to look forward to something which will remind us of hope eternal - a <a href="http://deathcafe.com/p/what-is-death-cafe.html/" target="_blank">Death Cafe</a>!<br />
<br />
For anyone new to this concept, here's the scoop...<br />
<br />
Death Cafes are events in which people, often strangers, meet to discuss issues about death, dying and grief. They are not support groups, but opportunities to engage in honest, open, and safe conversations about those topics generally avoided in day-to-day life.<br />
<br />
At Death Cafes there is always cake and coffee, and an atmosphere of authenticity as participants share thoughts, feelings and questions about life and death matters.<br />
<br />
So, you see, the essential purpose is to increase an awareness of death so that life may be embraced more fully!<br />
<br />
The upcoming Death Cafe is:<br />
<br />
Date: May 25, 2014<br />
Time: 2 - 4:30 PM<br />
Place: <a href="http://www.hospicecalgary.com/contact" target="_blank">Hospice Calgary Sage Center</a><br />
1245 70 Ave SE ( across from Trail Appliances)<br />
Calgary<br />
<br />
Fee: As always, Death Cafes are free of cost, and open to everyone.<br />
<br />
HOWEVER, you do need to pre-register so that I know how many cakes to bake!<br />
<br />
To save your spot at this Death Cafe, please send your name, and the number of people attending with you, to me at <a href="mailto:www.yycdeathcafe@gmail.com">www.yycdeathcafe@gmail.com</a> .<br />
<br />
It is ONLY when you receive a reply from me that you can rest assured that your name is on the guest list. There are a limited number of spots at this event, so please register today.<br />
<br />
Interested? You can read more about Death Cafe at the official <a href="http://www.deathcafe.com/" target="_blank">website</a>!<br />
<br />
I hope to see you soon for my first Death Cafe of 2014.<br />
<br />
Warmly<br />
Wendy Kurchak<br />
<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
<div class="row">
<div class="span12">
<div class="big">
<br />
At a Death Cafe people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death.
<br /><br />
Our objective is <i>'to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives'</i>.
<br /><br />
A Death Cafe is a group directed discussion of death with no agenda,
objectives or themes. It is a discussion group rather than a grief
support or counselling session.
<br /><br />
Our Death Cafes are always offered:
<br /><br />- On a not for profit basis
<br /><br />- In an accessible, respectful and confidential space
<br /><br />- With no intention of leading people to any conclusion, product or course of action
<br /><br />- Alongside refreshing drinks and nourishing food – and cake</div>
</div>
</div>
- See more at: http://deathcafe.com/p/what-is-death-cafe.html/#sthash.wCoEqV3r.dpuf</div>
<br />
<br />
<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
<div class="row">
<div class="span12">
<div class="big">
<br />
At a Death Cafe people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death.
<br /><br />
Our objective is <i>'to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives'</i>.
<br /><br />
A Death Cafe is a group directed discussion of death with no agenda,
objectives or themes. It is a discussion group rather than a grief
support or counselling session.
<br /><br />
Our Death Cafes are always offered:
<br /><br />- On a not for profit basis
<br /><br />- In an accessible, respectful and confidential space
<br /><br />- With no intention of leading people to any conclusion, product or course of action
<br /><br />- Alongside refreshing drinks and nourishing food – and cake</div>
</div>
</div>
- See more at: http://deathcafe.com/p/what-is-death-cafe.html/#sthash.wCoEqV3r.dpuf<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
<div class="row">
<div class="span12">
<div class="big">
<br />
At a Death Cafe people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death.
<br /><br />
Our objective is <i>'to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives'</i>.
<br /><br />
A Death Cafe is a group directed discussion of death with no agenda,
objectives or themes. It is a discussion group rather than a grief
support or counselling session.
<br /><br />
Our Death Cafes are always offered:
<br /><br />- On a not for profit basis
<br /><br />- In an accessible, respectful and confidential space
<br /><br />- With no intention of leading people to any conclusion, product or course of action
<br /><br />- Alongside refreshing drinks and nourishing food – and cake</div>
</div>
</div>
- See more at: http://deathcafe.com/p/what-is-death-cafe.html/#sthash.wCoEqV3r.dpuf<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
<div class="row">
<div class="span12">
<div class="big">
<br />
At a Death Cafe people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death.
<br /><br />
Our objective is <i>'to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives'</i>.
<br /><br />
A Death Cafe is a group directed discussion of death with no agenda,
objectives or themes. It is a discussion group rather than a grief
support or counselling session.
<br /><br />
Our Death Cafes are always offered:
<br /><br />- On a not for profit basis
<br /><br />- In an accessible, respectful and confidential space
<br /><br />- With no intention of leading people to any conclusion, product or course of action
<br /><br />- Alongside refreshing drinks and nourishing food – and cake</div>
</div>
</div>
- See more at: http://deathcafe.com/p/what-is-death-cafe.html/#sthash.wCoEqV3r.dpuf</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />
<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
At a Death Cafe people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death.
<br /><br />
Our objective is <i>'to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives'</i>.
<br /><br />
A Death Cafe is a group directed discussion of death with no agenda,
objectives or themes. It is a discussion group rather than a grief
support or counselling session.
<br /><br />
Our Death Cafes are always offered:
<br /><br />- On a not for profit basis
<br /><br />- In an accessible, respectful and confidential space
<br /><br />- With no intention of leading people to any conclusion, product or course of action
<br /><br />- Alongside refreshing drinks and nourishing food – and cake!
- See more at: http://deathcafe.com/p/what-is-death-cafe.html/#sthash.wCoEqV3r.dpuf</div>
<br />
<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
At a Death Cafe people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death.
<br /><br />
Our objective is <i>'to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives'</i>.
<br /><br />
A Death Cafe is a group directed discussion of death with no agenda,
objectives or themes. It is a discussion group rather than a grief
support or counselling session.
<br /><br />
Our Death Cafes are always offered:
<br /><br />- On a not for profit basis
<br /><br />- In an accessible, respectful and confidential space
<br /><br />- With no intention of leading people to any conclusion, product or course of action
<br /><br />- Alongside refreshing drinks and nourishing food – and cake!
- See more at: http://deathcafe.com/p/what-is-death-cafe.html/#sthash.wCoEqV3r.dpuf</div>
Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-42133432568789488672013-12-16T21:28:00.001-08:002013-12-16T21:28:46.150-08:00Four Memory Candles <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeYzORv8yMMKK_SqJ8jnTwZOn-RsCSeQdKNjDDB2N7DKV1bh77PfmHyXzhSWjz1pM2daY5TA57M8gmF268DAkyhud4bPt-A1F8XgCqO8F9v_hnTlwwi_ymFWcOiERVBufCC2aSJd9uyweY/s1600/Fotolia_59102803_XS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeYzORv8yMMKK_SqJ8jnTwZOn-RsCSeQdKNjDDB2N7DKV1bh77PfmHyXzhSWjz1pM2daY5TA57M8gmF268DAkyhud4bPt-A1F8XgCqO8F9v_hnTlwwi_ymFWcOiERVBufCC2aSJd9uyweY/s320/Fotolia_59102803_XS.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b><span> </span></b><br />
<b><span> Memory Candles</span></b><br />
<b><span> </span></b>
<br />
As we light these four candles in honor of you, we light one for our
GRIEF, one for our COURAGE, one for our MEMORIES and one for our LOVE.<br />
<br />
This candle represents our GRIEF. The pain of losing you is intense.
It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.<br />
<br />
This candle represents our COURAGE – to confront our sorrow. to comfort
each other, to change our lives.<br />
<br />
This light is in your MEMORY – the times we laughed, the times we cried,
the times we were angry with each other, the silly things you did, the
caring and joy you gave us.<br />
<br />
This light is for the light of LOVE.<br />
<br />
As we enter this holiday season, day by day we cherish the special place
in our hearts that will always be reserved for you. We thank you for the
gift your living brought to each of us. We love you.<br />
<br />
<b>~From Holiday Help: Coping for the Bereaved, by Sherry Gibson, B.S.,
R.N. and Sandra Graves, Ph.D.
</b>Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-77282046231909804912013-12-13T12:52:00.003-08:002013-12-13T12:52:55.408-08:00Grief Doesn't Take Holidays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<![endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">(also posted on www.ahpca.ca)</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">It was forty
years ago, in a large downtown hospital that I worked my first Christmas Eve shift
as a new nursing grad. As was the hospital tradition, a call went out during
the night for nurses willing to sing carols </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">strolling
through the wards</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"> on Christmas morning . I thought it was a brilliant idea and jumped at t</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">he chance
to participate.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh326nyMSgYWxhPfv6ZW3kTLcX5EyGY29fBXVIeGHrPT1UGCcwLXiYUGr_NccgRH4SHlxfHca7pGFNHpLc64RgcSVQs-TwH0nz9vxrw3ujCVILjpsbBcyqyU29p7xZ7DeRCFHLWdI_xKZkk/s1600/nurses+singing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh326nyMSgYWxhPfv6ZW3kTLcX5EyGY29fBXVIeGHrPT1UGCcwLXiYUGr_NccgRH4SHlxfHca7pGFNHpLc64RgcSVQs-TwH0nz9vxrw3ujCVILjpsbBcyqyU29p7xZ7DeRCFHLWdI_xKZkk/s1600/nurses+singing.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">c. Vancouver Sun</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Many
years of voice lessons landed me a position at the front of our little group where
I had a clear view into patient’s rooms as we sang our way through the
wards. We started on the orthopaedic floor where skiers with their legs in
traction smiled and waved as we passed their doors. All was merry and fine until
we entered the oncology floor which included our hospital’s answer to hospice
palliative care – a few rooms away from the nursing station.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Passing
these rooms, I saw some patients too ill to wave, some with expressions of
sweet remembrance, and <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>others who garnered
their strength to whisper ”Thank you”. Some of the patients had family members
by their beds – holding their hands, wiping tears from their faces: some of the
patients were alone; for many, it would be their last Christmas.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">By the
time we reached the unit door, I’d been gently moved to the back of the group;
I couldn’t sing through my tears. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For
the first time in my life, I understood that Christmas wasn’t all fun and cheer
– it could be a very difficult time for those struggling with illness, dying
and grief.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">The
holiday season holds many challenges for those who have lost a loved one in the
past year, or so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, meeting
the expectations of established family traditions, or the “merry ho-ho” attitude
of our culture just add stress to the grief.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“If
the grief is fresh, holiday cheer can seem like an affront and celebrations may
underscore how alone people feel,” notes </span><a href="http://www.health.harvard.edu/press_releases/coping-with-grief-during-the-holidays"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dr. Michael
Miller</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">,
editor in chief of the </span><a href="http://www.health.harvard.edu/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Harvard Mental
Health Letter.</span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV14H5qhivZlngS-rw-ykG90SOEct3IAm_rIQNsEzlLxzNlDIITvhsQO-Ssijd6Q6FkWIj4Ms-t5Ujgy-xQmkN3fvRoToO25OaNV1KF8v5dN0adC5rXv7S_jXaSNOgqUFhQSlX6xRu1nwj/s1600/103.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV14H5qhivZlngS-rw-ykG90SOEct3IAm_rIQNsEzlLxzNlDIITvhsQO-Ssijd6Q6FkWIj4Ms-t5Ujgy-xQmkN3fvRoToO25OaNV1KF8v5dN0adC5rXv7S_jXaSNOgqUFhQSlX6xRu1nwj/s1600/103.JPG" height="200" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">c. Kurchak</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Coping
with the holiday season takes some thought and pre-planning but it is possible
to survive intact and healthy. Here are some tips that the bereaved have found
helpful during the holidays.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Acknowledge that the holiday season will be difficult</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Many
bereaved say that the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anticipation</i> of
the day/ holiday is often worse than the actual day itself.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Heads up:
although the first holiday without a loved one is difficult, some people find
that there are still some challenges in the second year after a death. </span></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 39.35pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Plan a ritual to
acknowledge your loved one during the holidays</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Plan a
simple symbolic act that acknowledges your memory of your loved one. For
example:</span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjno9Gcb82eBIubTPIB8QSDE85hccb63b0ZHYEih7eJgDtL9p-_OcsU41Ey13LwR8l-3_Fno6pwgc0t2IgVbzYcluaTK85h1TErxd0zImNaRtkHAgc4qKSs8g2zCTpdSVGvEerFhnUTTUPy/s1600/Fotolia_59102803_XS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjno9Gcb82eBIubTPIB8QSDE85hccb63b0ZHYEih7eJgDtL9p-_OcsU41Ey13LwR8l-3_Fno6pwgc0t2IgVbzYcluaTK85h1TErxd0zImNaRtkHAgc4qKSs8g2zCTpdSVGvEerFhnUTTUPy/s1600/Fotolia_59102803_XS.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">c.Fotolia</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Leave an empty chair at the table.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Light a candle dedicated to your
loved one.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Place a bulb on the tree in
memory of your loved one.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">ttend a seasonal memorial
service offered at a local hospice or funeral home.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Recognize your loved one through
your personal spiritual practices.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Be creative: you may want to use
visualization or creative expressive tools, such as drawing or music, to help
you develop rituals which will be meaningful for you.</span></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l7 level1 lfo4; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Make new
traditions</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Instead of following traditions which included your loved one, creating new traditions via new
activities or new venues may ease the obvious absence of a deceased loved one.For instance, instead of spending the holidays at home, go away where ever your budget will allow.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEzIhV0wptkhtLSE2JkaIdFKl1uMC1juPPwjZjS5aoQ0iRnaYYMLnH-4-JwzWtaMSrhcLmKsNJ5N0HjxFwyOjhgxpUby7NvF6EWsRE_RXWP1LaJxkKRNxql3GoI-V7Zm1_FgJFU-yuQ2uY/s1600/Slide8.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEzIhV0wptkhtLSE2JkaIdFKl1uMC1juPPwjZjS5aoQ0iRnaYYMLnH-4-JwzWtaMSrhcLmKsNJ5N0HjxFwyOjhgxpUby7NvF6EWsRE_RXWP1LaJxkKRNxql3GoI-V7Zm1_FgJFU-yuQ2uY/s1600/Slide8.JPG" height="200" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">c.Fotolia</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Make a "Plan A" <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">and</b> B (C,D, and E)</span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Knowing that you can change your
plans depending on your feelings, may help decrease the stress.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">For example, if Plan A is to go
to a relative’s house for dinner, Plan B might be to go to the movies instead.</span></li>
</ol>
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<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Help others</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Helping
others may release the “feel-good hormones” endorphins. You might:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"> </span><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"> </span></span></div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Volunteer
to serve dinner at a Drop-in center, walk the animals in a rescue shelter, go shopping
for your elderly neighbours,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>distribute
mittens to the homeless… </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Volunteer
for a cause embraced by your loved one; what was an important value in their
life?</span></li>
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<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Take</span></span><span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">
it</span></span><span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"> easy on yourself</span></span></div>
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<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Practice these words: “No, thank
you.”</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Follow the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">excellent </b></span><a href="http://www.grief-healing-support.com/dealing-with-stress.html"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">stress reduction practices</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"> on the </span><a href="http://www.grief-healing-support.com/dealing-with-stress.html"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Grief-Healing-Support</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"> website as best as you’re able.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"><b></b></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><b>Rest</b> as much as possible.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"><b></b></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><b>Stay hydrated</b> – water will help
your brain cope with the “fight or flight” response to loss.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">ACCEPT HELP</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">. Let
others do the decorating, shopping, baking, wrapping, cleaning, greeting cards,
cooking…</span></li>
</ol>
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<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Practice </span></span><span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Coping M</span></span><span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">antras </span></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCJGNKCVE7ZqZQwFsBRBz686Pq6bVsk701xvir4iPVTXJ2LHEkPIG6agHMcvIgS55BU-giRGwlO9hmVSdR5vpa2nw7t62wpKNfRft7Z_JzJpOKRsQPsqmEDYiy6gU-MhiongVC61p9-lwm/s1600/adrian+aka+reindeer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCJGNKCVE7ZqZQwFsBRBz686Pq6bVsk701xvir4iPVTXJ2LHEkPIG6agHMcvIgS55BU-giRGwlO9hmVSdR5vpa2nw7t62wpKNfRft7Z_JzJpOKRsQPsqmEDYiy6gU-MhiongVC61p9-lwm/s1600/adrian+aka+reindeer.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's okay to laugh!(c.Kurchak)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">These are
short, easy to remember statements you can say to yourself when things get
overwhelming. For example:</span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">“Be sad. It’s allowed – grief
doesn’t take holidays.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">“Laugh. It’s allowed – life goes
on.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">“All good things come to an end.
All bad things come to an end.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">What mantras or life mottos do
you already practice? Write them on post-it notes as reminders.</span></div>
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<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Spend time with supportive people</span></span></div>
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<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Say “No, thank you” to
invitations to parties or gathering where you might feel uncomfortable or that
you would like to avoid. In other words, “Just say no.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Spend time with
the people who <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you</i> identify as
helpful. This might include “Friends” on Facebook, or other social media
platforms</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Phone support
can be helpful when you’re just too tired to go out or have company; ask
friends to call you, instead of you calling them</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></li>
</ol>
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<span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Embrace your “</span></span><a href="http://www.centerforloss.com/index.php?s=holiday+grief&x=0&y=0"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Treasure of Memories</span></a><span class="MsoIntenseEmphasis"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">”</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNiQkbf8Cfe2b__c0DiPoPQzARIhveqHmW4A2534niy2N_5yJxhzjp2Vm6zmfSRWciY-zxiN8bsYWeFjeiYmjwrUbOa7TiWo966oLt1S0lEPbjPBZ2NZf5Idva_kI23utKlJfPlA9Ka_Rz/s1600/Fotolia_51953881_XS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNiQkbf8Cfe2b__c0DiPoPQzARIhveqHmW4A2534niy2N_5yJxhzjp2Vm6zmfSRWciY-zxiN8bsYWeFjeiYmjwrUbOa7TiWo966oLt1S0lEPbjPBZ2NZf5Idva_kI23utKlJfPlA9Ka_Rz/s1600/Fotolia_51953881_XS.jpg" height="133" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">c.Fotolia</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"> Alan Wolfelt, well- known director
of the </span><a href="http://www.centerforloss.com/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Center for Loss and Life Transition,</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"> says, </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 39.35pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo8; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> “</i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Memories are one
of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved.
And holidays always make you think about times past. Instead
of ignoring these memories, share them with your family and friends.
Keep in mind that memories are tinged with both happiness and
sadness. If your memories bring laughter, smile. If your
memories bring sadness, then it’s alright to cry….”</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></i></div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Talk about your loved one over
the holidays.</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></i></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Share stories about your loved
one.</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></i></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Photo albums are a helpful to
encourage conversation about your loved one – put one or two out where family
and friends will look through them</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></i></li>
</ol>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;">The
bottom line is to do whatever YOU need to do to get through the holidays.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">What have you found helpful during the holidays after a loss? What tips would you share with others?</span> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;">This season, I wish you peace, comfort, strength and grace in your journey.</span></span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Warmly,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Wendy</span></div>
Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-72215830828963806442013-11-05T12:07:00.003-08:002013-11-05T12:07:21.531-08:00"The Weather in My Head" - Expressive Arts for Grieving Kids<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZNiV7AQ_8P9nIyCdpfwPL7b2ugAvnb7dNlLrVlDB_fpOG4dPZpj1lGDmBnz6gdVqDRih8nEuICQ5omAbOOtiQTgCT8vkvjsrYooz15Cjoh9p_9OKTfp05SxYm8dz1ly6Fq9R6yjVPSxrj/s1600/003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZNiV7AQ_8P9nIyCdpfwPL7b2ugAvnb7dNlLrVlDB_fpOG4dPZpj1lGDmBnz6gdVqDRih8nEuICQ5omAbOOtiQTgCT8vkvjsrYooz15Cjoh9p_9OKTfp05SxYm8dz1ly6Fq9R6yjVPSxrj/s320/003.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> Kids grieve through play. (Fotolia)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
One of the most effective tools for helping folks, including children, cope with loss and grief is one that doesn't require any particular verbal skills. Whether it's called "creative arts", "art therapy", or "expressive arts", the focus of this strategy is using non-verbal means to communicate feelings or thoughts: how appropriate for helping children who may have limited vocabulary express their grief.<br />
<br />
Expressive arts include music, drawing, dance, drawing, and writing. It's easy to see how any one of these might be considered "play" for a child. This is perfect, as kids process grief the way they learn life - through play.<br />
<br />
<b>"The Weather in My Head" </b><br />
<br />
One of my favourite expressive art activities to do with greiving kids is easy, fast, and can be done anytime a child is having difficulty expressing their feelings or thoughts. All you need are markers, or crayons, and some blank paper.<br />
<br />
Introduce the activity by sharing with the child, or teen, that our responses to loss and grief may change moment-to-moment just like the weather (at least in Calgary!) and may seem confusing; sometimes it's easier to express our thoughts or feelings through drawing, instead of talking<br />
<br />
Ask the child to close their eyes and picture what their feelings would be like if they were the weather. What do they look like; how do they feel; what sounds do they make; of what do they smell? Then, ask the child to open their eyes and draw what they just experienced.<br />
<br />
When they are done, you might ask the child if they would like to talk about their picture however, <b>be sure to ask</b>; expressive art can be very personal and private, and influencing or encouraging a child to talk may undermine the benefit of the activity.<br />
<br />
"The Weather in My Head" is one of the easy expressive arts that I am going to introduce to the children in the <span style="color: red;"><b>Bernie's Buddies Kids' Grief Workshop</b></span> running this month. We're also going to be encouraging safety and security, and confidence through pet therapy with gentle Bernie, the deaf St.Bernard, and special kid's yoga with Angela Blenkhorne.<br />
<br />
Our first session is this Thursday, November 7th. To register and for more information please go to <a href="http://adventureswithbernie.com/">adventureswithbernie.com</a><br />
<br />
In the meantime, if you're not here in Calgary, Pilgrim's Hospice in Edmonton has a brilliant program<a href="http://pilgrimshospice.com/programs/expressive-arts-for-grieving-children-teens-families/" target="_blank"> "Expressive Arts for Greiving Children, Teens and Families"</a>. <br />
<br />
What expressive arts have YOU found helpful?<br />
<br />
Talk soon,<br />
Wendy<br />
<br />Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-88834612178179556932013-10-31T00:39:00.001-07:002013-10-31T00:42:25.802-07:005 Ways That Yoga Eases Kids' Grief<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaHtjNfQ-9DiSNOBK8GRpsKmNwWnlvx8PjffLNBtYJOgCuTiEa5S7XU8CKvDglYnHjQt_fdfdOlPxG_ExANsmh3SfjVNUm1cc97NqlJAHgAx5DgtB-5zYyOCF4HHv0bWlmDyLaiu_m89mc/s1600/yoga+kid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaHtjNfQ-9DiSNOBK8GRpsKmNwWnlvx8PjffLNBtYJOgCuTiEa5S7XU8CKvDglYnHjQt_fdfdOlPxG_ExANsmh3SfjVNUm1cc97NqlJAHgAx5DgtB-5zYyOCF4HHv0bWlmDyLaiu_m89mc/s320/yoga+kid.jpg" width="208" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yoga = Helping a Grieving Child</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The following excerpt from Phil Catalfo's article "The Longest Goodbye" introduces us to the concept of yoga as a tool for processing grief.<br />
<br />
<i>"We don't get to live and not lose," says Ken Druck, a grief
counselor in San Diego. "If we care about anything, we're going to
experience loss." An outgoing, impassioned man, Druck knows loss
intimately. His elder daughter, Jenna, was killed nine years ago at age
21 in a bus accident in India while in a semester-abroad program. Druck
channeled his grief into creating the nonprofit Jenna Druck Foundation (<a href="http://www.jennadruck.org/" target="_blank">www.jennadruck.org</a>), which offers free support services to bereaved families. Yoga is central to the foundation's work.</i><br />
<br />
<i>
</i><i>Two years after Jenna's death, Druck was still so emotionally wounded
he was shutting down. "There were nights when I curled up into a ball
on the floor, racked with pain," he says. "My shoulders were pulled in,
protecting my heart and gut. And my thinking was obsessive—I was having
flashbacks to the phone call telling me Jenna had been killed." </i><br />
<br />
<i>
</i><i>Not long after that, a friend suggested he try yoga, so Druck signed
up to study with Diane Roberts, the owner of Foundation Yoga, in north
San Diego County. Within the first 10 minutes of class, tears were
streaming down his face. "I just let grief have its way with me," he
says softly. "There was nothing to do but let it happen. I relaxed
enough to breathe, and realized I'd contracted around my wound." Since
then, Druck has come to value the way yoga allows grief to be expressed;
today, the foundation offers yoga classes to grieving families.
"Through yoga, people can learn to modulate the breath, the pain, and
the obsessive thinking," he says."</i><br />
<br />
The rest of the article, in <a href="http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/1966" target="_blank"><u>Yoga Journal</u></a> offers some keenly interesting perspectives which you might enjoy. <i> </i><br />
<br />
In this piece, Catalfo suggests that there are five ways that yoga could ease grief, whether you're a child or an adult:<br />
<br />
1. Yoga may ease suffering.<br />
2. Yoga may help us learn compasssion while we grieve.<br />
3. Yoga may help relieve the physical pain we often experience with grief.<br />
4.Yoga may help us move towards acceptance of our new reality.<br />
5. Yoga may help us move forward in our life journey.<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<br />
These are some of the reasons that our new workshop <span style="background-color: lime;"><i><b><span style="font-size: small;">"Bernie's Buddies Grief Workshop for Kids" </span></b></i></span>includes yoga. <b>Angela is a certified kid's yoga instructor </b> - perfect for grieving kids! <br />
<br />
This unique workshop also offers grieving children the opportunity to learn to communicate with a deaf therapy dog (see my<a href="http://edingrief.blogspot.ca/2013/10/a-grieving-child-stbernard-unique.html" target="_blank"> last blog</a>) and to use creative arts to process their grief. <br />
<br />
There is more information about the workshop and an easy registration process at Bernie's Buddies website, <a href="http://adventureswithbernie.com/" target="_blank">www.adventureswithbernie.com </a><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: red;">HEADS UP - the first session is NEXT THURSDAY, November 7</span></b>. Register today to ensure that there is a spot for you - the workshop is limited to 8 children (plus their accompanying adult).<br />
<br />
This is going to be such a GOOD workshop - a big gentle dog, yoga, and creative arts all for grieving kids.<br />
<br />
Wendy<br />
CT, B.Ed, B.MusWendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-52077270554585540072013-10-26T13:38:00.000-07:002013-10-31T00:43:15.511-07:00A Grieving Child + a St.Bernard = a Unique Workshop for Grieving Kids<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
Grieving kids, especially those who have lost a parent or other loved one to
death, face many changes in their little worlds.<br />
<br />
They often feel out of control, unsafe and insecure as well as incompetent
in even their basic life skills. Expressing their grief becomes even more
complicated when their vocabulary and communication skills are limited by their
age and other childhood issues.<br />
<br />
It’s sometimes challenging knowing how to help...<br />
<br />
Enter, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC";">Bernie</span></b>!<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzidr9A7q01t_3Nj_OGEZcCB-xrZGB61-xX9Qws_3SEKneGFusXsiy6Vy6b5kVFkFLNjRU8EtLIMImDMoxacZ_oeJj_fjdqhZzzF_lMDRU5kgrSzWFNc5xtqHSRfDcaAElw-uJ7HLW6tB0/s1600/bernie+with+her+red+vest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzidr9A7q01t_3Nj_OGEZcCB-xrZGB61-xX9Qws_3SEKneGFusXsiy6Vy6b5kVFkFLNjRU8EtLIMImDMoxacZ_oeJj_fjdqhZzzF_lMDRU5kgrSzWFNc5xtqHSRfDcaAElw-uJ7HLW6tB0/s320/bernie+with+her+red+vest.jpg" width="318" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pet Therapy BERNIE aka Bernice!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC";">Bernie</span></b>:
a gentle, deaf St. Bernard pet therapy dog who has worked with grieving kids,
stroke patients, and all sort of other folks needing comfort. Lately, families
in shelters after the Calgary flood of 2013 discovered the comfort of
with this large sweet-spirited dog.<br />
<br />
S0, what is it about the dog/human connection which could make <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC";">Bernie</span></b>
and a grieving child the perfect fit?<br />
<br />
Studies at the University of Missouri, College of Veterinary Medicine have proven
that our levels of oxytocin, the “feel good” hormone, are increased when we
interact with animals. Just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">being</i>
with <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC";">Bernie</span></b>
will help grieving kids feel better.<br />
<br />
It will also lower their blood pressure, diminish the 'fight or flight'
response which is common with the trauma related to the death of a loved one, and
lower their adrenalin and arousal levels.<br />
<br />
Learning to speak with <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC";">Bernie</span></b> in a new language, hand
signals, could enhance a grieving child’s sense of mastery and accomplishment, increase
their self-confidence, and may encourage a greater sense of control over their
environment.<br />
<br />
BEST OF ALL, it will facilitate that #1 activity by which kids process grief
– <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC";">PLAY</span></b>!<br />
<br />
I love the whole idea. So, that’s why <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC";">Bernie</span></b>’s “Mama” Angela Blenkhorne
and I have developed a unique, kids’ grief workshop <a href="http://www.adventureswithbernie.com/Bernies_Buddies.php" target="_blank"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0070c0; font-family: "Kristen ITC";">Bernie’s BuddiesKids’ Grief Workshop</span></b></a>.<br />
<br />
We would love to have kids from 5-12 years old join us, for three evenings
in November, to spend time with <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Kristen ITC";">Bernie</span></b>, do yoga with Angela, and
grief-related crafts with me. There is more information about the workshop and
registration at <a href="http://www.adventureswithbernie.com/Bernies_Buddies.php" target="_blank">Bernie’s Adventures website.</a><br />
<br />
In the meantime, what’s been your experience with an animal that has brought
you comfort, or joy, or whatever else it is that you needed? I would enjoy sharing your story - I know it will touch and comfort others.Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-76233886484956445282013-10-15T18:51:00.003-07:002013-10-15T18:51:46.004-07:00Introducing Kids to the Life CycleHello again;<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGKFp4OztRHE52lbFLakReOXDPvYIwzPbq7wZpX_HC2XHMigHd03rnIGY0YZ7sq_bfT958U9p57Zj9ONrn3KtZC96fn7TGfnSYyClItcIN3uUEGpMunGG8Epsouxe9hXMhzyQUCuc1xVaF/s1600/003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGKFp4OztRHE52lbFLakReOXDPvYIwzPbq7wZpX_HC2XHMigHd03rnIGY0YZ7sq_bfT958U9p57Zj9ONrn3KtZC96fn7TGfnSYyClItcIN3uUEGpMunGG8Epsouxe9hXMhzyQUCuc1xVaF/s320/003.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Play is a safe place to introduce concepts of death and dying.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
There's an interesting YouTube video by a <a href="http://www.deathcafe.com/" target="_blank">Death Cafe</a> facilitator in Australia, Kim Ryder. However, it's not the part about her Death Cafés that is so intriguing - it's how she's teaching her daughter to become comfortable talking about death.<br />
<br />
In <b>"<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7RHePCM7uI" target="_blank">Death Café ( The Feed)</a>"</b> the viewer watches Ryder incorporating concepts and concrete examples of death into playtime with her daughter. At my first viewing, I was a little shocked - I won't tell you about the content because I'm hoping that you'll watch the video yourself. However, the more I thought about Ryder's strategies, I began to to wonder "why not?"<br />
<br />
In fact, whereas I initially thought that Death Café was a bold platform for raising an awareness of death, I now think it a very safe and gentle approach. The guests are like-minded people in an atmosphere of respect and openness, talking about issues which are fascinating and enlightening, all while "breaking bread", actually cake, together.<br />
<br />
Why not have a peek at Ryder's <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7RHePCM7uI" target="_blank">video</a> to watch a mom's intentional strategies to prepare her daughter to take care of her mother at her deathbed? I'm VERY interested to hear what you think.<br />
<br />
I might show the video at the <b>October 20th Death Cafe</b>. If you would like to join the discussion, there are a few seats remaining. To grab one of the spaces, send me an email at <a href="mailto:yycdeathcafe@gmail.com">yycdeathcafe@gmail.com</a>. I'll confirm your registration with a return email. The cafè details are in the upper right corner of this screen.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>In the meantime</i></span>, I heard this tidbit on Calgary CTV news: 2% of people who make purchases online admit to shopping with their iPhones while at a funeral. I wonder what they're buying?<br />
<br />
Warmly<br />
Wendy Kurchak<br />
CT, B.Ed. B.MusA, DipNursing, DipGuidance, CPW <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-11610531892746712742013-10-11T16:29:00.002-07:002013-10-11T16:33:32.165-07:00October 20 Death Cafe #6 - Only a Few Last Spots...Hi Everyone;<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfnu4eNJPRz88NanWmT6zr3E0e1DBJ-29txh3dfKyTGoGc4kB9IUyJ0fCDFyXG11I16iqqFM9DnwLl4sW2p918eDRgOP2cU7-mboDXlcGgLem3wwxsYjbjffakmUU5UPYm9tyl804MwHKr/s1600/death+cafe+june+9+2013+013.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfnu4eNJPRz88NanWmT6zr3E0e1DBJ-29txh3dfKyTGoGc4kB9IUyJ0fCDFyXG11I16iqqFM9DnwLl4sW2p918eDRgOP2cU7-mboDXlcGgLem3wwxsYjbjffakmUU5UPYm9tyl804MwHKr/s320/death+cafe+june+9+2013+013.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">CBC filming June 9th Death Cafe</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
There are only a few spots left for the <b>October 20th Death Cafe</b>. I'm excited that there are a number of university students attending, as well as some new out-of-town guests.<br />
<br />
If you would like to join us, please send me an email, sooner than later, to register. Heads up - a confirmation message from me ensures that you are on the guest list.<br />
<br />
The event details are in the upper right corner of this page, under "Autumn Death Cafes 2013".<br />
<br />
Homemade cake, coffee/tea, and "real life and death" conversation; you can't get it anywhere else for the price - free! <br />
<br />
<b>Register</b> at <a href="mailto:yycdeathcafe@gmail.com">yycdeathcafe@gmail.com</a> . Due to the limited spaces, if you are coming as part of a couple, or a group, it would be best to register everyone at the same time.<br />
<br />
Hope to see you soon.<br />
<br />
Warmly,<br />
Wendy Kurchak<br />
B.Ed , B.MusA, CT , DipNursing, DipGuidance, CPW<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-12075131160215331532013-10-10T17:52:00.003-07:002013-10-11T10:28:00.605-07:00Calgary's Death Cafe #7 moves uptown!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3dMcCKi_YKYFBpsgCCNY6Jzfr3FTo3ygLnoLbrt1RBHTN-8C9y01Z4j9hg66AAV4P7_OoTUxpaAQhsQxQcdW_1wBclPC66XYZfyCKp-3uj8ufnyLL9ieV7PfIFrT2obZ9D5tXp3hf9t7G/s1600/death+cafe+skull+teacup+best.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3dMcCKi_YKYFBpsgCCNY6Jzfr3FTo3ygLnoLbrt1RBHTN-8C9y01Z4j9hg66AAV4P7_OoTUxpaAQhsQxQcdW_1wBclPC66XYZfyCKp-3uj8ufnyLL9ieV7PfIFrT2obZ9D5tXp3hf9t7G/s320/death+cafe+skull+teacup+best.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>New DAY!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>New TIME!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>New LOCATION!</b></span><br />
<br />
Still the same old price - <b>FREE </b>!!!!<br />
<br />
It's Calgary's <span style="font-size: large;">7th</span> Death Cafe.<br />
<br />
It's conversation about life and death, in a relaxed environment while you enjoy coffee and cake. It's about embracing life more fully as your awareness of death increases...<br />
<br />
If you haven't yet joined the discussion, here's your chance:<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Saturday</b>, November 16th</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>1:30 PM to 3:30 PM</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Unitarian Church of Calgary </b> </span><br />
1703 1st ST NW ( a couple of blocks west of Center St. on 16Ave NW)<b> </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Register today</span> </b>at <a href="mailto:yycdeathcafe@gmail.com">yycdeathcafe@gmail.com</a>.It's as easy as that.<br />
<br />
IN the meantime, there are still a few spots for <span style="font-size: large;"><b>Death Cafe #6 on Sunday, OCTOBER 20th.</b></span> It's from 2-4 PM at the Sage Center(Hospice Calgary SE Outreach). No charge. Please register at <a href="mailto:yycdeathcafe@gmail.com">yycdeathcafe@gmail.com</a>. <br />
<br />
Hope to see you there,<br />
<br />
Wendy<br />
CT, B.Ed , B.MusA, DipNursing, DipGuidance, CPW<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-42603578396819901232013-10-01T16:53:00.000-07:002013-10-01T16:53:34.180-07:00Death Cafes Fall 2013<i><b> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnySJe78i6K7bwQ2ENOAcxXvqaBpn_yKEOoMzcAYKzWvkVUSdVpXFn4CpLmhdiGr0e3cLnMBL9eSmBIVP86Wz5lvLq0cHtdrPAmv_JsvmIvcDkFVqfYUxhEvXrdPUUT85yOC72ZYChN_UW/s1600/death+cafe+june+9+2013+012.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnySJe78i6K7bwQ2ENOAcxXvqaBpn_yKEOoMzcAYKzWvkVUSdVpXFn4CpLmhdiGr0e3cLnMBL9eSmBIVP86Wz5lvLq0cHtdrPAmv_JsvmIvcDkFVqfYUxhEvXrdPUUT85yOC72ZYChN_UW/s320/death+cafe+june+9+2013+012.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><b>June 9 Calgary Death Cafe</b></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</b></i><br />
<i><b>"Death Cafe"</b> <br /><br />definition - </i>a relaxed and safe place where people can drink coffee, eat cake and discuss death, dying and grief. <br />
<br />
The aim is to increase an awareness of death in order to live life to its utmost.<br />
<br />
There
is no other agenda than the above, and Death Cafes are not affiliated
with any other organization, religious or otherwise. However,
facilities for some Death Cafes may be donated by certain groups as all
cafes are free of charge.<i><br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Upcoming Calgary Death Cafe:</b></span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>October 20</b></span><br />
<i>Time: </i>2-4 PM<br />
<i>Location: </i>1245 70 Ave SE<br />
Sage Center (Hospice Calgary)<br />
<b>No charge</b> but you do need to register.<br />
<br />
<b>Please register at yycdeathcafe@gmail.com</b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi5oBA8lruR5df-5pvXskp_4EQ_RJDv-6F9k3dHEyy5di2nSW0-Wp10G_WGLO3M8axNrD_BcJfAL6tTYn4w3gaYeNWiSCQ2qIMQJFgwYp0GFgCjaEgbUPwys-X1BHsdMWNVa4OOwgZn0Aj/s1600/Death+cafe+Peter+Pan+says.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi5oBA8lruR5df-5pvXskp_4EQ_RJDv-6F9k3dHEyy5di2nSW0-Wp10G_WGLO3M8axNrD_BcJfAL6tTYn4w3gaYeNWiSCQ2qIMQJFgwYp0GFgCjaEgbUPwys-X1BHsdMWNVa4OOwgZn0Aj/s320/Death+cafe+Peter+Pan+says.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What do you think of Peter Pan's perspective?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b> </b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Stayed tuned for information about the</span><b><span style="font-size: large;"> November Death Cafe!</span> </b>Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-10360849684794913992013-09-13T22:57:00.002-07:002013-09-17T15:31:06.642-07:00Calgary Death Cafe September 29th Almost Full( This is a re-post of a recent article about Personal Directives.)<br />
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<br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> <i>“What would happen if you had a
sudden illness or injury and could not make your own decisions? How would your
family, friends or health care team know your wishes? Who would speak for you? </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>If you are unable to make medical decisions,
someone else will do it. It would be best if they could make those decisions
based on what you would have wanted.”</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(<a href="http://www.calglaryhealthregion.ca/">www.calglaryhealthregion.ca</a>, 2011)</span></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-6HJQnO3lToUCEZjH1DgjYvc_q1M2sVkjYGEfgcP_5ljTEMupxE5QHSaSIz-OsW8iMLbxwY_bFucfe2I6WAdO6E1hiUolR4aCGL8y5cHJayR-VP3dSCZp5O-fEosYEzwG98ZOZxl01LJm/s1600/death+cafe+june+9+2013+015.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-6HJQnO3lToUCEZjH1DgjYvc_q1M2sVkjYGEfgcP_5ljTEMupxE5QHSaSIz-OsW8iMLbxwY_bFucfe2I6WAdO6E1hiUolR4aCGL8y5cHJayR-VP3dSCZp5O-fEosYEzwG98ZOZxl01LJm/s400/death+cafe+june+9+2013+015.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> Thought-provoking discussion at the June 9 Death Cafe.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Such is the
rationale for developing an <b>Advance Care Plan</b>; to ensure that in the event of being unable
or incapable to speak for yourself, you will receive the medical care you would
actually choose for yourself. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<div class="content" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: windowtext;">But, do you <i>need</i> an Advance Care Plan? </span></span></span></div>
<div class="content" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: windowtext;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="content" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: windowtext;">Well,
the publicized medical and legal
battle of Terry Schiavo during the 1990’s and early 2000’s, is a good
example why we should all consider having an Advance Care Plan,
regardless of our age or current state of health. </span></span></span></div>
<div class="content" style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="content" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: windowtext;">A
cardiac arrest at 26 years of age resulted in severe brain
damage which led to a 15 year vegetative state and feeding tube for
Terry. With no legal document to guide medical decisions, her husband
and parents battled each other for more than a decade before the courts
finally decided in her husband's favour; the feeding tube was removed
and Terry died a few months later. </span> </span></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The
Terry Schiavo
case prompted a highly emotional public response which inspired a
movement,
primarily of baby boomers, to address the issues raised by Terry’s
situation. One result was the attention to Advance Care Planning. This is the process by
which people may:</span></span> </div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Begin
to consider the things that matter to them when making choices about future
health care.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span>Learn
about medical care options relevant to their future needs.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span>Choose
the individual who will speak on their behalf when they are unable to do so.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span>Tell
their advocate and loved ones, about their wishes and what is important to them.</span></span></li>
</ul>
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</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span>Document
their wishes so their loved ones know their wishes.</span></span></li>
</ul>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> (
<a href="http://www.calgaryhealthregion.ca/">www.calgaryhealthregion.ca</a> 2011)</span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 54pt; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Now, back to <b>Personal Directives</b>.</span></span></div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 54pt; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Personal
Directives may be included as part of an Advance Care Plan. They are
the guidelines that loved ones will use when death could be imminent. </span></span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">For
example, a Personal Directive may indicate whether you want to refuse
treatment depending on a particular situation. You may decide that you
don't want further treatment if you have a certain degree of brain
damage. Or you may state that you want aggressive life-saving treatment
regardless of your medical condition. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">It's all about you. It's your Personal Directive.</span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 54pt; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"></span></b><i>Most
adults have not completed any advance care planning, including a Personal Directive. I haven't.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">That's
why I'm excited that the September Death Cafe includes a workshop for
writing your own Personal Directive. We'll start with a regular style
Death Cafe, complete with conversation and cake, take a short break, and
then spend the last hour in the Personal Directive Workshop.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">If you would like to join in, here's what you need to know.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Date: Sunday, September 29th</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Time: 2 - 5 PM</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Location: The Sage Center ( *Hospice Calgary) 1245 70 Ave. SE </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">No charge (donations accepted to cover costs of refreshments and printing)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">*
Although Hospice Calgary generously donates their facility for Death
Cafes, the cafes are not Hospice Calgary sponsored events. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Due to the special workshop, this particular Death Cafe will have limited space.</b> To register your spot, go <i>today</i> to <a href="mailto:yycdeathcafe@gmail.com">yycdeathcafe@gmail.com</a>. A return email from me confirms your registration.<b> As of Sept 17th, there are only a few spots remaining.</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">So,
DO you need a Personal Directive? If you think it would be a good idea,
why not take this opportunity to participate in both the
thought-provoking death and dying discussion at a Death Cafe, and the
workshop for your own Personal Directive?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Warmly</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Wendy</span></span></span></div>
Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-24855285691879785542013-09-02T13:49:00.001-07:002013-09-02T13:49:06.644-07:00Labour Day in Canada - Honouring my Dad<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy21OeaX2FFXcU1Qcr2dZ_8X97WbiMCrw59NcIPdzgtM7u9m8wPWaKPq-m6gpIFrSj2VZLN_0vm2rtoXXTkwTT3jTEu1HSEcOrLydpQOAZReS6iPLvD6DsDYQapTTEIFL4WBwSK5Rviaef/s1600/dad+John+001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy21OeaX2FFXcU1Qcr2dZ_8X97WbiMCrw59NcIPdzgtM7u9m8wPWaKPq-m6gpIFrSj2VZLN_0vm2rtoXXTkwTT3jTEu1HSEcOrLydpQOAZReS6iPLvD6DsDYQapTTEIFL4WBwSK5Rviaef/s320/dad+John+001.jpg" width="232" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">John Kurchak - my Dad</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Labour Day.<br />
<br /> My Dad, John Kurchak, walked in the Toronto Labour Day
Parade for as many years as he was a member of the Sheet Metal Workers
Union - over 50 years. In his youth, he was a union organizer at cost to
him when he was assaulted and then fired. To save the food at home for
his widowed mom, Dad stood in a soup kitchen line for lunch until he got
another job. Later, he become a Business Rep for his union local,
and then worked for the Ontario Federation of Labour. Dad ended his
career as a provincial mediator, appointed by Premier Peterson.<br />
<br />
Dad was a
union man, through and through.<br />
<br /> The Ontario Nurses Association
formed in 1973, just two years before I began my nursing career. Because
of the union, I earned $10, 000 a year instead of 7,000, and had to
have at least one day off every 10 days.As a teacher, the Alberta Teachers' Association ensured that my work environment allowed me to do my absolute best for my students.<br />
<br /> Over my life, I have seen
the rights, lifestyles and dignity of workers protected by the
sacrifices and efforts of my Dad, and other labour minded men and women.<br />
<br /> I am grateful, and honoured to be my Dad's daughter. <br />
<br /> Labour Day - it's a day of recognition and gratitude.<br />
<br />
Thank you.<br />
<br />
Wendy Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-48467450288461502892013-08-18T00:38:00.002-07:002013-08-18T13:31:04.151-07:00What's so funny about death?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL18SlQqHTw3zznaQOAJSuDjRZMUh_ucy1cyoHoo_fBqiaBfxMARreQJWmiQHyZnzSaHTg6SZJ9gMXm_bKIL8V7DfZqMvZzwFUSmYYmmB5jxRj-z__Gf-EFmvh_C0flEtFy3HVejrmB582/s1600/Fotolia_36391012_XS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN9IHCwFHC9ErCeJv-E2k3bVRShR3ZaGgcsLpBZPZ7IhIiNbynJsszVFMGfs3j02p2ph99wPEwJ3OTBlFxT9znSwW8e9yc3e3SG6WDn-XmA1PZaX7TCrHEKwOrXdJwxLed7VY2ktheqKO9/s1600/mr+bean+and+teddy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN9IHCwFHC9ErCeJv-E2k3bVRShR3ZaGgcsLpBZPZ7IhIiNbynJsszVFMGfs3j02p2ph99wPEwJ3OTBlFxT9znSwW8e9yc3e3SG6WDn-XmA1PZaX7TCrHEKwOrXdJwxLed7VY2ktheqKO9/s200/mr+bean+and+teddy.jpg" width="187" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Teddy - the <i>bear </i>with 9 lives!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0byZMy7F5tZdqw7POq-4RIKggC6vzXVolt7MmeFxRYVjEb4n6EBrvc9wikc9fZvuWYMb_nKoebVi4TSyebFVrqh2NS1veZoTulR012Ayj4Yw3llVy9ZONu_7FYoMv791IRpFPZbxlKPyY/s1600/live+like+you%27re+dying+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
Actually, it's a little difficult to find anything really funny about death - okay, let's be honest - it's <i><b>very</b></i> challenging. Death and dying are serious events, especially when you find yourself in the unfortunate, and undesirable midst of them.<br />
<br />
However, there's one type of comedy that embraces these topics - black humour. One online <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/black+humor" target="_blank">dictionary </a>describes it as,<span id="hotword"><i><span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #0055bb; cursor: pointer;"> "a</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">form</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">of</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">humor</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">that</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">regards</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">human</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">suffering</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">as</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">absurd</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">rather</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">than</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">pitiable,</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">or</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">that</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">considers</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">human</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">existence</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">as</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">ironic</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">and</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">pointless</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">but</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">somehow</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">comic.</span>"</i> It also says that black humour originated in 1965 -1970. </span><br />
<div class="luna-Ent">
<span id="hotword"><br /></span></div>
<div class="luna-Ent">
<span id="hotword">Hmmm... although the term " black humour" may have been coined in the mid 60's, finding something to laugh about death has surely been around since the beginning of walking apes, or whenever.... Humour is a universal coping strategy for insanely horrible situations.</span></div>
<div class="luna-Ent">
<span id="hotword"><br /></span></div>
<div class="luna-Ent">
<span id="hotword">There are a number of websites with black humour <i>and</i> death jokes. However, I heard my favourite death joke a few years ago from the Scandanavian American keynote speaker at a Dealing with Grief conference here in Calgary. Here's the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ole_and_Lena" target="_blank">Wikipedia </a>version:</span></div>
<div class="luna-Ent">
<br />
<i>Ole went to the doctor for a physical. After Ole was dressed the
doctor came in and said "I am sorry Ole, but you are very sick and have
only a few weeks to live".</i><br />
<br />
<i>
</i><i>Ole went home with a heavy heart to tell Lena the news. After Ole
told Lena he sat in his easy chair and Lena went to the kitchen. Soon a
heavenly aroma came from the kitchen. Lena was making his favorite
cookies! "Lena must really love me" he thought. Ole went into the
kitchen and started to take a cookie. Lena slapped his hand away and
said "Get avay! Dese cookies aren't for you, der for da funeral!"</i><br />
<br />
Did you laugh? Yes, no, were you offended?<i> </i><br />
<br />
In my quest to find some respectful, appropriate ways to bring some comic relief to my tweets about death, I spent a couple of fun hours in a Twitter humour class this morning. I'm looking forward to practicing what I learned - <b>I apologize NOW for any and all offense I may cause!</b><br />
<br />
<i> </i><br />
In the meantime, what death jokes, or humourous death stories, true or fiction, have made you laugh right aloud? I'd love to hear them.<br />
<br />
Warmly<br />
Wendy<br />
Party planner for Calgary's Death Cafes</div>
Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-46905460743405308452013-08-08T13:48:00.001-07:002013-08-08T13:55:19.783-07:00True Confession about Calgary's Death Cafe <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0DJdFk3hemECUz5uhoSgib6owrmtaGutoIwtcE_ea0ZTiMYu_ph4OOsmXvNhiTes37Lbnxnk6ZijW3HJe59aaLKlAWZ5nZmK6kuhyphenhyphenyss53WBO4KUE-jxFv9sggY_DvNfrOkOTYxkyMlNs/s1600/Fotolia_40120820_XS(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0DJdFk3hemECUz5uhoSgib6owrmtaGutoIwtcE_ea0ZTiMYu_ph4OOsmXvNhiTes37Lbnxnk6ZijW3HJe59aaLKlAWZ5nZmK6kuhyphenhyphenyss53WBO4KUE-jxFv9sggY_DvNfrOkOTYxkyMlNs/s320/Fotolia_40120820_XS(1).jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Death Cafe </b>= cakes and chat about all things death.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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I hope you're sitting down - I'm making a confession.<br />
<br />
For each of the past four Calgary Death Cafes, I have baked the same cake recipes, and worn the same brown blouse (except for the <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/player/News/Canada/Calgary/ID/2390640792/" target="_blank">CBC news</a> visit - I gussied up).<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnmD2QC-2valpg0m9XjweFLR0dA4IDFRL0C5ImFnuAV9WsulmUyYMNd7BS6KJEE6ePtFgoEWkV4ezvtJk9v_jN2nzbfBWj_gW8iV9P5aJgwC5v64zIMc6pbJ2EasrI6VjxwZkw2OpbadSx/s1600/013.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnmD2QC-2valpg0m9XjweFLR0dA4IDFRL0C5ImFnuAV9WsulmUyYMNd7BS6KJEE6ePtFgoEWkV4ezvtJk9v_jN2nzbfBWj_gW8iV9P5aJgwC5v64zIMc6pbJ2EasrI6VjxwZkw2OpbadSx/s200/013.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Comfortable, old-fav, boring brown blouse.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The cakes were delicious and devoured, and the blouse comfortable albeit boring. But it's time for change!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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SO, I forked over big bucks for a new T-shirt, and now I'm on the hunt for NEW cake recipes! <b>Yours!</b><br />
<br />
<b><i>I beg you</i></b>, if you've got a delectable, easy-to-make cake recipe you're willing to share, my measuring cups are standing ready.<br />
<br />
Maybe it's the cake you made for the first love- of- your- life" (which wasn't) or the recipe you found in a tattered 1940's cookbook; maybe it's the cake from "I wish I could forget" family reunions, or the easy-peasy cake you take to friendly potluck dinners - if you enjoy it, chances are the guests at a Death Cafe will also rave about it!<br />
<br />
Now, I know that asking for your recipe is already a huge favour, "but wait, there's more!" If you could find the time to share the story behind your cake recipe, it would be WUNDERBAR (wonderful!) ; just a few words, paragraphs - however the baking spirit moves you.<br />
<br />
You can post your recipe here in the comment section, or send me an email, and with your permission, I'll post it here; <a href="mailto:yycdeathcafe@gmail.com">yycdeathcafe@gmail.com</a> - it's the same address for registering for a Death Cafe.<br />
<br />
<br />
Please, don't hoard that delectable, easy- to- make recipe in your kitchen drawer ; share it, today. The courageous, remarkable guests at Calgary's Death Cafes and I will say " Thanks, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Merci,</span> <span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Dankeschoen</span>, <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Grazie</span>, <i>Tak</i>, <span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Obrigado</span>, <span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Dank u,</span> <span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Dankie</span>, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Asante</span>, <b><i>Anksthay</i></b>!" <br />
<br />
WendyWendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-35915843128333959642013-07-31T18:59:00.002-07:002013-07-31T18:59:39.495-07:00Do YOU need a Personal Directive?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> <i>“What would happen if you had a
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>If you are unable to make medical decisions,
someone else will do it. It would be best if they could make those decisions
based on what you would have wanted.”</i></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 252pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">(<a href="http://www.calglaryhealthregion.ca/">www.calglaryhealthregion.ca</a>, 2011)</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-6HJQnO3lToUCEZjH1DgjYvc_q1M2sVkjYGEfgcP_5ljTEMupxE5QHSaSIz-OsW8iMLbxwY_bFucfe2I6WAdO6E1hiUolR4aCGL8y5cHJayR-VP3dSCZp5O-fEosYEzwG98ZOZxl01LJm/s1600/death+cafe+june+9+2013+015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-6HJQnO3lToUCEZjH1DgjYvc_q1M2sVkjYGEfgcP_5ljTEMupxE5QHSaSIz-OsW8iMLbxwY_bFucfe2I6WAdO6E1hiUolR4aCGL8y5cHJayR-VP3dSCZp5O-fEosYEzwG98ZOZxl01LJm/s400/death+cafe+june+9+2013+015.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> Thought-provoking discussion at the June 9 Death Cafe.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Such is the
rationale for developing an <b>Advance Care Plan</b>; to ensure that in the event of being unable
or incapable to speak for yourself, you will receive the medical care you would
actually choose for yourself. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="content" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: windowtext;">But, do you <i>need</i> an Advanace Care Plan? </span></span></span></div>
<div class="content" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: windowtext;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="content" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: windowtext;">Well, the publicized medical and legal
battle of Terry Schiavo during the 1990’s and early 2000’s, is a good example why we should all consider having an Advance Care Plan, regardless of our age or current state of health. </span></span></span></div>
<div class="content" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="content" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: windowtext;">A
cardiac arrest at 26 years of age resulted in severe brain
damage which led to a 15 year vegetative state and feeding tube for Terry. With no legal document to guide medical decisions, her husband and parents battled each other for more than a decade before the courts finally decided in her husband's favour; the feeding tube was removed and Terry died a few months later. </span> </span></span></div>
<div class="content" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Terry Schiavo
case prompted a highly emotional public response which inspired a movement,
primarily of baby boomers, to address the issues raised by Terry’s situation. One result - Advance Care Planning. This is the process by which people may:</span></span> </div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Begin
to consider the things that matter to them when making choices about future
health care.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span>Learn
about medical care options relevant to their future needs.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span>Choose
the individual who will speak on their behalf when they are unable to do so.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span>Tell
their advocate and loved ones, about their wishes and what is important to them.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span>Document
their wishes so their loved ones know their wishes.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> (
<a href="http://www.calgaryhealthregion.ca/">www.calgaryhealthregion.ca</a> 2011)</span></span><br />
</div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 54pt; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now, back to <b>Personal Directives</b>.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 54pt; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 54pt; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Personal Directives may be included as part of an Advance Care Plan. They are the guidelines that loved ones will use when death could be imminent. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 54pt; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 54pt; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">For example, a Personal Directive may indicate whether you want to refuse treatment depending on a particular situation. You may decide that you don't want further treatment if you have a certain degree of brain damage. Or you may state that you want aggressive life-saving treatment regardless of your medical condition. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It's all about you. It's your Personal Directive.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 54pt; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 54pt; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"></span></b><i>Most
adults have not completed any advance care planning, including a Personal Directive. I haven't.</i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">That's why I'm excited that the September Death Cafe includes a workshop for writing your own Personal Directive. We'll start with a regular style Death Cafe, complete with conversation and cake, take a short break, and then spend the last hour in the Personal Directive Workshop.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If you would like to join in, here's what you need to know.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Date: Sunday, September 29th</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Time: 2 - 5 PM</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Location: The Sage Center ( *Hospice Calgary) 1245 70 Ave. SE </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">No charge (donations accepted to cover costs of refreshments and printing)</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">* Although Hospice Calgary generously donates their facility for Death Cafes, the cafes are not Hospice Calgary sponsored events. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Due to the special workshop, this particular Death Cafe will have limited space.</b> To register your spot, go <i>today</i> to <a href="mailto:yycdeathcafe@gmail.com">yycdeathcafe@gmail.com</a>. A return email from me confirms your registration.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So, DO you need a Personal Directive? If you think it would be a good idea, why not take this opportunity to participate in both the thought-provoking death and dying discussion at a Death Cafe, and the workshop for your own Personal Directive?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Warmly</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Wendy</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-19621397304178166722013-07-24T15:37:00.002-07:002013-07-25T01:41:16.481-07:00"Death Cafes - more than just talk" aka Clementine Cake with Chocolate Glaze<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiCIAnPaHZcIO3YMsty05kmrBpowY0zFseutXtLD1f9CDma7crZDhd-CuzL5LEGMp__-1LKgPdDUpxs23jdKH3UXYUh6fNoq5MW5j8PRBeV3IED3rNBS-Fmw8z74_nn4W4_rj0BH_EOPpx/s1600/death+cafe+june+9+2013+019.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiCIAnPaHZcIO3YMsty05kmrBpowY0zFseutXtLD1f9CDma7crZDhd-CuzL5LEGMp__-1LKgPdDUpxs23jdKH3UXYUh6fNoq5MW5j8PRBeV3IED3rNBS-Fmw8z74_nn4W4_rj0BH_EOPpx/s320/death+cafe+june+9+2013+019.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Conversation and cake June 9/13 Death Cafe</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
"To increase an awareness of death in order to live life to its fullest." <br />
<br />
That's why more than 150 people have come together in Calgary's Death Cafes this spring; but there's more than just talk at these events - there's CAKE!<br />
<br />
Yes! "Let them eat cake!" <br />
<br />
<br />
Dessert is an essential ingredient at every Death Cafe around the world. Here in Calgary, just like cowboys, oil, and crazy weather, there's more than enough cake to go around.<br />
<br />
And those cakes are <i>mmm- mmm- good</i>: they're homemade with fresh eggs, real butter, and whole fat sour cream and yogurt. Come to think of it, a few pieces of those cakes could take you closer to the topic of discussion than you want to go!<br />
<br />
"Clementine Cake with Chocolate Glaze" is one of the crowd pleasers and it's even gluten-free. Wait a minute - there's no guest charge at any Death Cafe, so <i>all</i> the cakes are free!<br />
<br />
I found this recipe in Bonnie Stern's 2008 cookbook "Friday Night Dinners". But this cake isn't just for dinner - it's for enjoying at a Sunday afternoon Death Cafe. <br />
<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Clementine Cake with Chocolate Glaze ( Bonnie Stern - Friday Night Dinners, 2008)</span></b></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Cake: </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">1 lb. whole clementine (about 4) or
oranges (about 2)</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">6 eggs</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">1 cup granulated sugar</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">2 cups ground toasted almonds</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">1 tsp. baking powder, optional</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Chocolate Glaze:</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">6 oz. semisweet or bittersweet
chocolate, chopped</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">¼ cup butter</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Place whole clementines in a large
pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil. Simmer for 2 hours, adding water if
necessary to keep fruit covered. (Place a pate on top of oranges to hold them
down). Cool. Cut clementines in pieces and remove seeds. Place the other parts
of the orange in a food processor and process until smooth.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In a large bowl, bear eggs and sugar
until very light.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In a separate bowl, combine almonds
and baking powder, if using. Stir into batter. Add clementine puree.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Tansfer batter to a 9 inch spring
form pan that has been oiled, lined with parchment and oiled again, Bake in a
preheated 350 F oven for 35 to 40 minutes or until set. If the cake starts to
brown too much, cover loosely with foil during baking. Cook cake and remove
from pan.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Meanwhile combine chocolate and
butter in top of a double boiler or in a microwave, stir until smooth, Cool
slightly, Pour or spread over cake.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Makes 10 to 12 servings.</i></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
This is one of the cakes I'll be baking for the September 29th special <a href="http://edingrief.blogspot.ca/2013/07/death-cafe-and-your-own-personal.html" target="_blank">"Death Cafe and Your Own Personal Directive"</a> You can enjoy your very own piece of this cake with a lot less work than baking it yourself - just register for this <a href="http://edingrief.blogspot.ca/2013/07/death-cafe-and-your-own-personal.html" target="_blank">Death Cafe </a>at <a href="http://yycdeathcafe@gmail.com./">yycdeathcafe@gmail.com.</a><br />
<br />
FYI - there are limited spaces on September 29th. Don't miss the conversation or the cake - register today!<br />
<br />
It's a delicious idea! <br />
<br />
Wendy Kurchak<br />
B.Ed, B.MusA, CT, DipNursing, DipGuidance<br />
<br />Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-1354504428012023002013-07-21T14:49:00.003-07:002013-07-22T00:06:56.305-07:00Death Cafe and Your Own Personal Directive<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH4xYbOqlShFiIISVcbtZTkL3_eBQw4V7ApE6SJzHQvJn_NDJnczpXG7eahVXvae_aVqAi0P-3dF-zMkUuNGjoHfuJfo7lp36HTtms4KjIuai7b3BB3mwFabjvJCSrw0Vhtx75y4W0r3Br/s1600/death+cafe+june+9+2013+014.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH4xYbOqlShFiIISVcbtZTkL3_eBQw4V7ApE6SJzHQvJn_NDJnczpXG7eahVXvae_aVqAi0P-3dF-zMkUuNGjoHfuJfo7lp36HTtms4KjIuai7b3BB3mwFabjvJCSrw0Vhtx75y4W0r3Br/s320/death+cafe+june+9+2013+014.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Death Cafe participants of all ages.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Step One : eat cake and talk about death, dying and grief.<br />
<br />
Step Two : move from the abstract to the concrete ; create a Personal Directive for the end of your own life.<br />
<br />
At a special event on September 29th , we're taking Death Cafe to the next level! <br />
<br />
We'll start with 1.5 hours of intriguing and thought-provoking Death Cafe conversation before making things a little more personal. That's when we'll move into a <b>Personal Directive Planning workshop</b> format.<br />
<br />
Also known as Advance Care Plans, Personal Directives require that we examine our individual thoughts, wishes and directions regarding our own dying and death, and then document them through one form or another; potentially a life-altering process for us, and invaluable information for our loved ones.<br />
<br />
To ensure a stimulating Death Cafe <i>and</i> an optimum workshop environment, the attendence at <b>this event will be limited to 20 guests. </b><br />
<br />
Date: September 29, 2013<br />
Time: 1:30 - 5 PM ( extended time to accommodate workshop)<br />
Location: Sage Center ( *Hospice Calgary Outreach) at 1245 70 Ave SE Calgary<br />
<br />
* Please note that although Hospice Calgary has generously donated the use of their facility for this event, this Death Cafe is NOT a Hospice Calgary sponsored event.<br />
<br />
Death Cafe & Personal Directives; an excellent partnership! <br />
<br />
<b>To attend this special Death cafe, please register today at <a href="http://yycdeathcafe.com/">yycdeathcafe@gmail.com</a></b><br />
<br />
<br />
Warmly,<br />
<br />
Wendy Kurchak<br />
B.Ed, B.MusA, CT, DipGuidance, DipNursing <br />
<br />
<br />Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-77238994240132108712013-07-04T23:19:00.000-07:002013-07-08T13:47:29.266-07:00Death Cafe September and October REVISED DatesHello Everyone!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtWRgFsksMsooCqL5m3npq5XUFj52Y0unGXqw6C-7Sf-nqju2crkpl3J0z_Hn4ZvpV3MQwfzxvlMjWa2VDV-54P_BzA5rKXYZV1pERr7hbQJrchqOtXyUO3kaSuOK6agBDZoRDg5W3ZQVU/s1600/death+cafe+june+9+2013+012.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtWRgFsksMsooCqL5m3npq5XUFj52Y0unGXqw6C-7Sf-nqju2crkpl3J0z_Hn4ZvpV3MQwfzxvlMjWa2VDV-54P_BzA5rKXYZV1pERr7hbQJrchqOtXyUO3kaSuOK6agBDZoRDg5W3ZQVU/s320/death+cafe+june+9+2013+012.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">June 9th Death Cafe</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Spring 2013 = four months, five Death Cafes, and more than 150 guests; it was stimulating, thought-provoking and definitely full of surprises for the participants, and me!<br />
<br />
Now it's time for a brief summer break before the first Calgary Death Cafes start up in the fall.<br />
<br />
To accommodate guest speakers at the September and October Death Cafes, the previously posted <b>dates have been revised to:</b><br />
<br />
<b>Sunday, September 29th</b> ( instead of September 22) : <b>"What's in <i>Your</i> Personal Directive?"</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Sunday, October 20</b> ( instead of October 23) : <b>"Dogs, Death and Dying"</b><br />
<br />
To register for one of these Death Cafes, please email me at yycdeathcafe@gmail.com.<br />
<br />
Nadia Steward's <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/player/News/Canada/Calgary/ID/2390640792/" target="_blank">CBC story</a> about the June 9th Death Cafe, or the <a href="http://www.deathcafe.com/" target="_blank">international Death Cafe website</a> have more information about this innovative social platform for discussions about real life, and death, issues.<br />
<br />
I'm looking forward to seeing new friends from the spring cafes, as well as meeting new guests.<br />
<br />
Warmly,<br />
<br />
Wendy Kurchak<br />
B.Ed., B.MusA., Certificate Thanatology, Diploma NursingWendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-71648845453652422492013-07-02T01:34:00.000-07:002013-07-02T01:34:57.125-07:00Understanding vs Living<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMJO2EMA1xyFVnVSc5A5-WtZr1Qi5sM2Mtjn3LPrUdoUNXTShc2JJtPlqvfpO0JSv8ff88Y2Coy1y2GI2VVCigZSUeEXmSs5ip6FjKxiQ7v17WlH4CqpAdL_egGveuZ6ucYSmTZi-RBhGK/s518/death+cafe+poster+life+can+only+be+understood.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMJO2EMA1xyFVnVSc5A5-WtZr1Qi5sM2Mtjn3LPrUdoUNXTShc2JJtPlqvfpO0JSv8ff88Y2Coy1y2GI2VVCigZSUeEXmSs5ip6FjKxiQ7v17WlH4CqpAdL_egGveuZ6ucYSmTZi-RBhGK/s400/death+cafe+poster+life+can+only+be+understood.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Panmure Beach PEI Canada</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-51084580752310194202013-07-01T14:06:00.002-07:002013-07-01T14:06:56.757-07:00Helping Kids Cope with Devastation from the Alberta Floods<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Calgary - we have the worst and the best; the worst flood in 100 years, but some of the best grief and trauma counselors in Canada. My favourite, hands down, is Shannon Laycraft. </span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC9_c4eBgO59g7SaMKg7ZFFA-w6UmMMazmewGLzBGjx_Jxdhk7w-opZzEfgxo683eGsv8LWOfrzjkMI-k73fKJhzOSpg0qR_-6qFmmBhMj5-jH6yud7AJoAg3Db53cekA15qv0f_ghZXcV/s424/Fotolia_43913689_XS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC9_c4eBgO59g7SaMKg7ZFFA-w6UmMMazmewGLzBGjx_Jxdhk7w-opZzEfgxo683eGsv8LWOfrzjkMI-k73fKJhzOSpg0qR_-6qFmmBhMj5-jH6yud7AJoAg3Db53cekA15qv0f_ghZXcV/s320/Fotolia_43913689_XS.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> Fotolia</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">I met Shannon years ago when I was a new volunteer at Hospice Calgary. She inspired me and showed me how to help and support grieving kids. As a high school guidance counselor, I referred many grieving students to Shannon, always confident that they would find a caring and knowledgable counselor. </span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">You can see, for yourself, an example of Shannon's care and sharing. Today, on her Facebook page, she posted the following tips for helping kids cope with the devastation they may face after the flood; the information is from the heart, chock full of wisdom, and with no purpose other than to help the children in our communities.</span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">So, here is a copy of Shannon Laycraft's Facebook posting "Supporting
Children after the Flood".</span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<i><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"> " 1. When you first take them
back to your home after the flood, prepare them for what they will see
(let them know specifically how your house, yard, area will look
different before they see it). </span></span></i></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<i><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"> 2. Let them know that their house looks
like this because of the flood. If they have questions about floods,
answer them Provide age appropriate answers and not too much
information for their age; just answer what they have asked. Let them
know that these things don't happen very often. Know that children are
magical thinkers and sometimes will blame themselves for these types of
events (maybe ask them what they think caused the flood and tell them
that sometimes people wonder if something they did caused the flood;
then reassure). Older children may be very interested in all things
related to floods and may have lots of questions. This is normal. </span></span></i></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<i><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"> 3.
Provide them with opportunities to express their feelings (maybe give
them a notebook and crayons to draw pictures about how they are
feeling).</span></span></i></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<i><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"> 4. Reassure them that you will all be okay; That this
situation is temporary. (If they have upset feelings, let them know that
these will also get better with time and let them know that expressing
their feelings (drawing, talking, writing,...) is a very important way
to help them feel better.</span></span></i></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<i><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"> 5. Provide lots of affection and comfort.<br /> <br />
There is a workbook called "When Something Terrible Happens" by Marge
Heegaard which is a great resource for children and families going
through this difficult time. Love to everyone in High River!!! xoxo"</span></span></i></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Easy, peasy, practical tips for parents, friends and neighbours<i> </i>to help kids understand and cope with the changes in their lives caused by this disaster.</span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Thanks again, Shannon, for helping us take care of traumatized and grieving children!</span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Warmly</span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Wendy</span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">B.Ed. B.MusA Diploma Nursing, Certificate Thanatology</span></span></h5>
Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-29374756810543922962013-06-22T13:04:00.000-07:002013-06-26T00:42:02.447-07:00Flood and Trauma in Alberta<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Media coverage of raging rivers flooding Calgary and
neighbouring communities, communities being evacuted by air and heavy equipment, and people clinging to loved ones are among the unexpected and traumatic scenes which have confronted Albertans in the last few days. As the flooding has destroyed and damaged homes, property, and
vegetation, the loss of human life and animals has shaken our sense of safety
and security where we live and work.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHrmdWjXoGi05yKmYhDKbW54dtAEXB9zok4x_rIa9xJV-u9IkD8eq7DDg8xnyJAuxsO9eCqyN4-zQhwDLinFRMalxmPpt07BDP4iA2ia9LZHQNJi4Cxns4HnQhhPYjEbY0mRQqQzVxuySd/s1600/050.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHrmdWjXoGi05yKmYhDKbW54dtAEXB9zok4x_rIa9xJV-u9IkD8eq7DDg8xnyJAuxsO9eCqyN4-zQhwDLinFRMalxmPpt07BDP4iA2ia9LZHQNJi4Cxns4HnQhhPYjEbY0mRQqQzVxuySd/s200/050.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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We are grieving.
Some of us have lost our loved ones – people and pets. Some of us have lost our
place of sanctuary – our homes, treasured mementos, the fruits of loving care
of our gardens. Others of us have lost the trails and roads to those places to
where we escape in Kananaskis. There are losses that we don’t even know
or understand yet.</div>
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<b>If you are experiencing a sense of trauma, numbness, shock,
sadness and being overwhelmed, here are some websites that offer some practical
strategies to help you cope.</b></div>
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This site from the University of New Hampshire has good info
about coping with <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">the trauma</b>
associated with the natural disaster of the flooding in our communities. </div>
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<a href="http://unhcc.unh.edu/dealing-effects-trauma-%E2%80%93-self-help-guide">http://unhcc.unh.edu/dealing-effects-trauma-%E2%80%93-self-help-guide</a></div>
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This guide from Australia has some excellent information.
Many of the web links are international.</div>
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<a href="http://www.grief.org.au/grief_and_bereavement_support/bushfire_support/looking_after_yourself_after_d">http://www.grief.org.au/grief_and_bereavement_support/bushfire_support/looking_after_yourself_after_d</a></div>
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This website has tips for helping kids cope with the
trauma of changes to their sense of safety and security.</div>
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<a href="http://www.helpguide.org/mental/disaster_recovery_trauma_stress_coping.htm">http://www.helpguide.org/mental/disaster_recovery_trauma_stress_coping.htm</a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga1gf-n90Cd887cccdQ5CuoBOT5nLfosJ2JJrWa8EVtT7nTqLFOXAoQ8WxuECd6G-HJiZUff1Al3T_I2krSdxPPMURyBI9v4F5O9M5FYg1bTpI1B4vwy6Mmg_AYlZuzvz7sen3z39I5KGl/s1600/078.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga1gf-n90Cd887cccdQ5CuoBOT5nLfosJ2JJrWa8EVtT7nTqLFOXAoQ8WxuECd6G-HJiZUff1Al3T_I2krSdxPPMURyBI9v4F5O9M5FYg1bTpI1B4vwy6Mmg_AYlZuzvz7sen3z39I5KGl/s200/078.jpg" width="200" /></a><b>Drink</b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> lots
of water</b>. The brain’s response to trauma affects our ability to experience
thirst – we may become dehydrated without being aware of it – the resulting
confusion and difficulty thinking makes coping with the situation even worse.</div>
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<b>THANK YOU </b>to our first responders throughout the province for your courage, dedication and compassion.</div>
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My thoughts are with all of you who are struggling with the
impact of this flood on your life at this moment. May you find moments of
calmness and strength in this day.</div>
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Wendy</div>
Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7423997726078402587.post-23921135916310797242013-06-19T02:37:00.000-07:002013-06-19T17:14:52.998-07:00Peter Pan's thoughts about dying...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdwPLbr550bzFEeOn9V4PSbVuPSVRKPa55_QwdYPyCVLyjKRVjhe7ArBNYGiJTYTOgQwjKndwwUdIzcIIr5niv00z-jx78nRFyMhDkOjufPKOOeMg03UHQLAQKQj6IjGCDMG1mX5UaKO_I/s1600/Death+cafe+Peter+Pan+on+dying.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdwPLbr550bzFEeOn9V4PSbVuPSVRKPa55_QwdYPyCVLyjKRVjhe7ArBNYGiJTYTOgQwjKndwwUdIzcIIr5niv00z-jx78nRFyMhDkOjufPKOOeMg03UHQLAQKQj6IjGCDMG1mX5UaKO_I/s400/Death+cafe+Peter+Pan+on+dying.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Wendy M.Kurchakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05770146441213604306noreply@blogger.com0