However, it can also be a struggle for women who have lost children, those who were unable to have children, or those of us who have lost a beloved mother figure.
Significant days such as birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays remind us of other celebrations with our loved one. Finding new ways to recognize the day, and the absence of the deceased is part of our grieving process; one helpful strategy is to find rituals which work for you.
Rituals ground us. They require movement. They are a concrete, time-defined action which symbolizes emotion. I find them powerful and healing.
A ritual is essentially anything that helps you recognize the person, the relationship, and helps you cope with your grief. There are no right or wrong rituals - they're as personal and unique as your grief.
The process of creating your own ritual for Mother's Day is part of the healing. However, here are a few ideas to get you started:
Light a candle dedicated to your Mom, or whom ever you are remembering
Light a candle at church
Set up a rememberence altar with pictures and objects that your Mom, or child enjoyed
Say prayers
Write a letter to whom ever it is you're remembering
Sing or play your loved one's favourite song
Create a collage which reminds you of your loved one
Do a meditative walk
Make a donation to a relevant charity
Make a card, just like you did as a kid
Plant a new plant in the garden
What rituals do you use that bring you comfort? It would be wonderful for you to share them in the comments section....
Sometimes our grief is too raw even to remember or acknowledge the day. That's okay - just don't. That's a choice as well.
In rememberence of Moms, children, and those who have mothered us, including my Aunties Ollie, Ida and Mary, I say, "Thank you. We love you."
Warmly
Wendy
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