Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Do YOU need a Personal Directive?



 “What would happen if you had a sudden illness or injury and could not make your own decisions? How would your family, friends or health care team know your wishes? Who would speak for you?

If you are unable to make medical decisions, someone else will do it. It would be best if they could make those decisions based on what you would have wanted.”




 Thought-provoking discussion at the June 9 Death Cafe.
Such is the rationale for developing an Advance Care Plan; to ensure that in the event of being unable or incapable to speak for yourself, you will receive the medical care you would actually choose for yourself. 

But, do you need an Advanace Care Plan? 

Well, the publicized medical and legal battle of Terry Schiavo during the 1990’s and early 2000’s, is a good example why we should all consider having an Advance Care Plan, regardless of our age or current state of health. 

A cardiac arrest at 26 years of age resulted in severe brain damage which led to a 15 year vegetative state and feeding tube for Terry. With no legal document to guide medical decisions, her husband and parents battled each other for more than a decade before the courts finally decided in her husband's favour; the feeding tube was removed and Terry died a few months later. 

The Terry Schiavo case prompted a highly emotional public response which inspired a movement, primarily of baby boomers, to address the issues raised by Terry’s situation. One result - Advance Care Planning. This is the process by which people may: 
  • Begin to consider the things that matter to them when making choices about future health care.
  •  Learn about medical care options relevant to their future needs.
  •   Choose the individual who will speak on their behalf when they are unable to do so.
  •    Tell their advocate and loved ones, about their wishes and what is important to them.
  •    Document their wishes so their loved ones know their wishes.
                                                    ( www.calgaryhealthregion.ca 2011)
Now, back to Personal Directives.

Personal Directives may be included as part of an Advance Care Plan. They are the guidelines that loved ones will use when death could be imminent. 

For example, a Personal Directive may indicate whether you want to refuse treatment depending on a particular situation. You may decide that you don't want further treatment if you have a certain degree of brain damage. Or you may state that you want aggressive life-saving treatment regardless of your medical condition. 

It's all about you. It's your Personal Directive.

Most adults have not completed any advance care planning, including a Personal Directive. I haven't.

That's why I'm excited that the September Death Cafe includes a workshop for writing your own Personal Directive. We'll start with a regular style Death Cafe, complete with conversation and cake, take a short break, and then spend the last hour in the Personal Directive Workshop.

If you would like to join in, here's what you need to know.

Date: Sunday, September 29th
Time: 2 - 5 PM
Location: The Sage Center ( *Hospice Calgary) 1245 70 Ave. SE
No charge (donations accepted to cover costs of refreshments and printing)

* Although Hospice Calgary generously donates their facility for Death Cafes, the cafes are not Hospice Calgary sponsored events. 

Due to the special workshop, this particular Death Cafe will have limited space. To register your spot, go today to yycdeathcafe@gmail.com. A return email from me confirms your registration.

So, DO you need a Personal Directive? If you think it would be a good idea, why not take this opportunity to participate in both the thought-provoking death and dying discussion at a Death Cafe, and the workshop for your own Personal Directive?

Warmly
Wendy


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

"Death Cafes - more than just talk" aka Clementine Cake with Chocolate Glaze

Conversation and cake June 9/13 Death Cafe
"To increase an awareness of death in order to live life to its fullest."

That's why more than 150 people have come together in Calgary's Death Cafes this spring; but there's more than just talk at these events - there's CAKE!

Yes! "Let them eat cake!" 


Dessert is an essential ingredient at every Death Cafe around the world. Here in Calgary, just like cowboys, oil, and crazy weather, there's more than enough cake to go around.

And those cakes are mmm- mmm- good: they're homemade with fresh eggs, real butter, and whole fat sour cream and yogurt. Come to think of it,  a few pieces of those cakes could take you closer to the topic of discussion than you want to go!

 "Clementine Cake with Chocolate Glaze" is one of the crowd pleasers and it's even gluten-free. Wait a minute -  there's no guest charge at any Death Cafe, so all the cakes are free!

I found this recipe in Bonnie Stern's 2008 cookbook "Friday Night Dinners". But this cake isn't just for dinner - it's for enjoying at a Sunday afternoon Death Cafe.



Clementine Cake with Chocolate Glaze ( Bonnie Stern - Friday Night Dinners, 2008)


Cake:
1 lb. whole clementine (about 4) or oranges (about 2)

6 eggs

1 cup granulated sugar

2 cups ground toasted almonds

1 tsp. baking powder, optional



Chocolate Glaze:

6 oz. semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, chopped

¼ cup butter



Place whole clementines in a large pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil. Simmer for 2 hours, adding water if necessary to keep fruit covered. (Place a pate on top of oranges to hold them down). Cool. Cut clementines in pieces and remove seeds. Place the other parts of the orange in a food processor and process until smooth.



In a large bowl, bear eggs and sugar until very light.



In a separate bowl, combine almonds and baking powder, if using. Stir into batter. Add clementine puree.



Tansfer batter to a 9 inch spring form pan that has been oiled, lined with parchment and oiled again, Bake in a preheated 350 F oven for 35 to 40 minutes or until set. If the cake starts to brown too much, cover loosely with foil during baking. Cook cake and remove from pan.



Meanwhile combine chocolate and butter in top of a double boiler or in a microwave, stir until smooth, Cool slightly, Pour or spread over cake.



Makes 10 to 12 servings.
 

This is one of the cakes I'll be baking for the September 29th special "Death Cafe and Your Own Personal Directive" You can enjoy your very own piece of this cake with a lot less work than baking it yourself - just register for this Death Cafe at yycdeathcafe@gmail.com.

FYI - there are limited spaces on September 29th. Don't miss the conversation or the cake - register today!

It's a delicious idea!

Wendy Kurchak
B.Ed, B.MusA, CT, DipNursing, DipGuidance

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Death Cafe and Your Own Personal Directive

Death Cafe participants of all ages.

Step One : eat cake and talk about death, dying and grief.

Step Two : move from the abstract to the concrete ; create a Personal Directive for the end of your own life.

At a special event on September 29th , we're taking Death Cafe to the next level!

We'll start with 1.5 hours of  intriguing and thought-provoking Death Cafe conversation before making things a little more personal. That's when we'll move into a Personal Directive Planning workshop format.

Also known as Advance Care Plans, Personal Directives require that we examine our individual thoughts, wishes and directions regarding our own dying and death, and then document them through one form or another; potentially a life-altering process for us, and invaluable information for our loved ones.

To ensure a stimulating Death Cafe and an optimum workshop environment, the attendence at this event will be limited to 20 guests.

Date: September 29, 2013
Time: 1:30 - 5 PM ( extended time to accommodate workshop)
Location: Sage Center ( *Hospice Calgary Outreach) at 1245 70 Ave SE Calgary

* Please note that although Hospice Calgary has generously donated the use of their facility for this event, this Death Cafe is NOT a Hospice Calgary sponsored event.

Death Cafe & Personal Directives; an excellent partnership!

To attend this special Death cafe, please register today at yycdeathcafe@gmail.com


Warmly,

Wendy Kurchak
B.Ed, B.MusA, CT, DipGuidance, DipNursing


Thursday, July 4, 2013

Death Cafe September and October REVISED Dates

Hello Everyone!

June 9th Death Cafe

Spring 2013 = four months, five Death Cafes, and more than 150 guests; it was stimulating, thought-provoking and definitely full of surprises for the participants, and me!

Now it's time for a brief summer break before the first Calgary Death Cafes start up in the fall.

To accommodate guest speakers at the September and October Death Cafes, the previously posted dates have been revised to:

Sunday, September 29th ( instead of September 22) : "What's in Your Personal Directive?"

Sunday, October 20 ( instead of October 23) : "Dogs, Death and Dying"

To register for one of these Death Cafes, please email me at yycdeathcafe@gmail.com.

Nadia Steward's CBC story about the June 9th Death Cafe, or  the international Death Cafe website have more information about this innovative social platform for discussions about real life, and death, issues.

I'm looking forward to seeing new friends from the spring cafes, as well as meeting new guests.

Warmly,

Wendy Kurchak
B.Ed., B.MusA., Certificate Thanatology, Diploma Nursing

Monday, July 1, 2013

Helping Kids Cope with Devastation from the Alberta Floods

Calgary - we have the worst and the best; the worst flood in 100 years, but some of the best grief and trauma counselors in Canada. My favourite, hands down, is Shannon Laycraft. 
                                                                                    Fotolia
I met Shannon years ago when I was a new volunteer at Hospice Calgary. She inspired me and showed me how to help and support grieving kids. As a high school guidance counselor,   I referred many grieving students to Shannon, always confident that they would find a caring and knowledgable  counselor. 
You can see, for yourself,  an example of Shannon's care and sharing. Today, on her  Facebook page, she posted the  following tips for helping kids cope with the devastation they may face after the flood; the information is from the heart, chock full of wisdom, and with no purpose other than to help the children in our communities.
So, here is a copy of Shannon Laycraft's Facebook posting "Supporting Children after the Flood".
 " 1. When you first take them back to your home after the flood, prepare them for what they will see (let them know specifically how your house, yard, area will look different before they see it). 
  2. Let them know that their house looks like this because of the flood. If they have questions about floods, answer them Provide age appropriate answers and not too much information for their age; just answer what they have asked. Let them know that these things don't happen very often. Know that children are magical thinkers and sometimes will blame themselves for these types of events (maybe ask them what they think caused the flood and tell them that sometimes people wonder if something they did caused the flood; then reassure). Older children may be very interested in all things related to floods and may have lots of questions. This is normal. 
 3. Provide them with opportunities to express their feelings (maybe give them a notebook and crayons to draw pictures about how they are feeling).
 4. Reassure them that you will all be okay; That this situation is temporary. (If they have upset feelings, let them know that these will also get better with time and let them know that expressing their feelings (drawing, talking, writing,...) is a very important way to help them feel better.
 5. Provide lots of affection and comfort.

There is a workbook called "When Something Terrible Happens" by Marge Heegaard which is a great resource for children and families going through this difficult time. Love to everyone in High River!!! xoxo"
Easy, peasy, practical tips for parents, friends and neighbours to help kids understand and cope with the changes in their lives caused by this disaster.
Thanks again, Shannon, for helping us take care of traumatized and grieving children!
Warmly
Wendy
B.Ed. B.MusA Diploma Nursing, Certificate Thanatology