5 Ways That Yoga Eases Kids' Grief

Yoga  = Helping a Grieving Child

The following excerpt from Phil Catalfo's article "The Longest Goodbye" introduces us to the concept of yoga as a tool for processing grief.

"We don't get to live and not lose," says Ken Druck, a grief counselor in San Diego. "If we care about anything, we're going to experience loss." An outgoing, impassioned man, Druck knows loss intimately. His elder daughter, Jenna, was killed nine years ago at age 21 in a bus accident in India while in a semester-abroad program. Druck channeled his grief into creating the nonprofit Jenna Druck Foundation (www.jennadruck.org), which offers free support services to bereaved families. Yoga is central to the foundation's work.

Two years after Jenna's death, Druck was still so emotionally wounded he was shutting down. "There were nights when I curled up into a ball on the floor, racked with pain," he says. "My shoulders were pulled in, protecting my heart and gut. And my thinking was obsessive—I was having flashbacks to the phone call telling me Jenna had been killed." 

Not long after that, a friend suggested he try yoga, so Druck signed up to study with Diane Roberts, the owner of Foundation Yoga, in north San Diego County. Within the first 10 minutes of class, tears were streaming down his face. "I just let grief have its way with me," he says softly. "There was nothing to do but let it happen. I relaxed enough to breathe, and realized I'd contracted around my wound." Since then, Druck has come to value the way yoga allows grief to be expressed; today, the foundation offers yoga classes to grieving families. "Through yoga, people can learn to modulate the breath, the pain, and the obsessive thinking," he says."

The rest of the article, in Yoga Journal offers some keenly interesting perspectives which you might enjoy. 

In this piece,  Catalfo suggests that there are five ways that yoga could ease grief, whether you're a child or an adult:

1. Yoga may ease suffering.
2. Yoga may help us learn compasssion while we grieve.
3. Yoga may help relieve the physical pain we often experience with grief.
4.Yoga may help us move towards acceptance of our new reality.
5. Yoga may help us move forward in our life journey.

These are some of the reasons that our new workshop "Bernie's Buddies Grief Workshop for Kids" includes yoga. Angela is a certified kid's yoga instructor  - perfect for grieving kids!

This unique workshop also offers grieving children the opportunity to learn to communicate with a deaf therapy dog (see my last blog)  and to use creative arts to process their grief.

There is more information about the workshop and an easy registration process at Bernie's Buddies website, www.adventureswithbernie.com

HEADS UP - the first session is NEXT THURSDAY, November 7. Register today to ensure that there is a spot for you - the workshop is limited to 8 children (plus their accompanying adult).

This is going to be such a GOOD workshop - a big gentle dog, yoga, and creative arts all for grieving kids.

Wendy
CT, B.Ed, B.Mus

A Grieving Child + a St.Bernard = a Unique Workshop for Grieving Kids

Grieving kids, especially those who have lost a parent or other loved one to death, face many changes in their little worlds.

They often feel out of control, unsafe and insecure as well as incompetent in even their basic life skills. Expressing their grief becomes even more complicated when their vocabulary and communication skills are limited by their age and other childhood issues.

It’s sometimes challenging knowing how to help...

Enter, Bernie!

Pet Therapy BERNIE aka Bernice!

Bernie: a gentle, deaf St. Bernard pet therapy dog who has worked with grieving kids, stroke patients, and all sort of other folks needing comfort. Lately, families in shelters after the Calgary flood of 2013 discovered the comfort of with this large sweet-spirited dog.

S0, what is it about the dog/human connection which could make Bernie and a grieving child the perfect fit?

Studies at the University of Missouri, College of Veterinary Medicine have proven that our levels of oxytocin, the “feel good” hormone, are increased when we interact with animals. Just being with Bernie will help grieving kids feel better.

It will also lower their blood pressure, diminish the 'fight or flight' response which is common with the trauma related to the death of a loved one, and lower their adrenalin and arousal levels.

Learning to speak with Bernie in a new language, hand signals, could enhance a grieving child’s sense of mastery and accomplishment, increase their self-confidence, and may encourage a greater sense of control over their environment.

BEST OF ALL, it will facilitate that #1 activity by which kids process grief – PLAY!

I love the whole idea. So, that’s why Bernie’s “Mama” Angela Blenkhorne and I have developed a unique, kids’ grief workshop Bernie’s BuddiesKids’ Grief Workshop.

We would love to have kids from 5-12 years old join us, for three evenings in November, to spend time with Bernie, do yoga with Angela, and grief-related crafts with me. There is more information about the workshop and registration at Bernie’s Adventures website.

In the meantime, what’s been your experience with an animal that has brought you comfort, or joy, or whatever else it is that you needed? I would enjoy sharing your story - I know it will touch and comfort others.

Introducing Kids to the Life Cycle

Hello again;

Play is a safe place to introduce concepts of death and dying.

 There's an interesting YouTube video by a Death Cafe facilitator in Australia, Kim Ryder. However, it's not the part about her Death Cafés that is so intriguing -  it's how she's teaching her daughter to become comfortable talking about death.

In "Death Café ( The Feed)" the viewer  watches Ryder incorporating concepts and concrete examples of death into playtime with her daughter. At my first viewing, I was a little shocked - I won't tell you about the content because I'm hoping that you'll watch the video yourself. However, the more I thought about Ryder's strategies, I began to to wonder "why not?"

In fact, whereas I initially thought that Death Café was a bold platform for raising an awareness of death, I now think it a very safe and gentle approach. The guests are like-minded people in an atmosphere of respect and openness, talking about issues which are fascinating and enlightening, all while "breaking bread", actually cake, together.

Why not have a peek at Ryder's video to watch a mom's intentional strategies to prepare her daughter to take care of her mother at her deathbed? I'm VERY interested to hear what you think.

I might show the video at the October 20th Death Cafe. If you would like to join the discussion, there are a few seats remaining. To grab one of the spaces, send me an email at yycdeathcafe@gmail.com.  I'll confirm your registration with a return email. The cafè details are in the upper right corner of this screen.

In the meantime, I heard this tidbit on Calgary CTV news: 2% of people who make purchases online admit to shopping with their iPhones while at a funeral. I wonder what they're buying?

Warmly
Wendy Kurchak
CT, B.Ed. B.MusA, DipNursing, DipGuidance, CPW

October 20 Death Cafe #6 - Only a Few Last Spots...

Hi Everyone;

CBC filming June 9th Death Cafe

There are only a few spots left for the October 20th Death Cafe. I'm excited that there are a number of university students attending, as well as some new out-of-town guests.

If you would like to join us, please send me an email, sooner than later, to register. Heads up - a confirmation message from me ensures that you are on the guest list.

The event details are in the upper right corner of this page, under "Autumn Death Cafes 2013".

Homemade cake, coffee/tea, and "real life and death" conversation;  you can't get it anywhere else for the price - free!

Register at yycdeathcafe@gmail.com . Due to the limited spaces, if you are coming as part of a couple, or a group, it would be best to register everyone at the same time.

Hope to see you soon.

Warmly,
Wendy Kurchak
B.Ed , B.MusA, CT , DipNursing, DipGuidance, CPW

Calgary's Death Cafe #7 moves uptown!

New DAY!
New TIME!
New LOCATION!

Still the same old price - FREE !!!!

It's Calgary's 7th Death Cafe.

It's conversation about life and death, in a relaxed environment while you enjoy coffee and cake. It's about embracing life more fully as your awareness of death increases...

If you haven't yet joined the discussion, here's your chance:

Saturday, November 16th

1:30 PM to 3:30 PM

Unitarian Church of Calgary  
1703 1st ST NW ( a couple of blocks west of Center St. on 16Ave NW)

Register today at yycdeathcafe@gmail.com.It's as easy as that.

IN the meantime, there are still a few spots for Death Cafe #6 on Sunday, OCTOBER 20th. It's from 2-4 PM at the Sage Center(Hospice Calgary SE Outreach). No charge. Please register at yycdeathcafe@gmail.com. 

Hope to see you there,

Wendy
CT, B.Ed , B.MusA, DipNursing, DipGuidance, CPW

Death Cafes Fall 2013

 

June 9 Calgary Death Cafe

"Death Cafe"

definition - a relaxed and safe place where people can drink coffee, eat cake and discuss death, dying and grief.

The aim is to increase an awareness of death in order to live life to its utmost.

There is no other agenda than the above, and Death Cafes are not affiliated with any other organization, religious or otherwise. However, facilities  for some Death Cafes may be donated by certain groups as all cafes are free of charge.

Upcoming Calgary Death Cafe:
October 20
Time: 2-4 PM
Location: 1245 70 Ave SE
Sage Center (Hospice Calgary)
No charge but you do need to register.

Please register at yycdeathcafe@gmail.com

What do you think of Peter Pan's perspective?

 
Stayed tuned for information about the November Death Cafe!

Calgary Death Cafe September 29th Almost Full

( This is a re-post of a recent article about Personal Directives.)

 “What would happen if you had a sudden illness or injury and could not make your own decisions? How would your family, friends or health care team know your wishes? Who would speak for you?

If you are unable to make medical decisions, someone else will do it. It would be best if they could make those decisions based on what you would have wanted.”

(www.calglaryhealthregion.ca, 2011)

 Thought-provoking discussion at the June 9 Death Cafe.

Such is the rationale for developing an Advance Care Plan; to ensure that in the event of being unable or incapable to speak for yourself, you will receive the medical care you would actually choose for yourself. 

But, do you need an Advance Care Plan? 

Well, the publicized medical and legal battle of Terry Schiavo during the 1990’s and early 2000’s, is a good example why we should all consider having an Advance Care Plan, regardless of our age or current state of health. 

A cardiac arrest at 26 years of age resulted in severe brain damage which led to a 15 year vegetative state and feeding tube for Terry. With no legal document to guide medical decisions, her husband and parents battled each other for more than a decade before the courts finally decided in her husband's favour; the feeding tube was removed and Terry died a few months later. 

The Terry Schiavo case prompted a highly emotional public response which inspired a movement, primarily of baby boomers, to address the issues raised by Terry’s situation. One result was the attention to Advance Care Planning. This is the process by which people may: 

• Begin to consider the things that matter to them when making choices about future health care.

•  Learn about medical care options relevant to their future needs.

•   Choose the individual who will speak on their behalf when they are unable to do so.

•    Tell their advocate and loved ones, about their wishes and what is important to them.

•    Document their wishes so their loved ones know their wishes.

                                                    ( www.calgaryhealthregion.ca 2011)

Now, back to Personal Directives.

Personal Directives may be included as part of an Advance Care Plan. They are the guidelines that loved ones will use when death could be imminent. 

For example, a Personal Directive may indicate whether you want to refuse treatment depending on a particular situation. You may decide that you don't want further treatment if you have a certain degree of brain damage. Or you may state that you want aggressive life-saving treatment regardless of your medical condition. 

It's all about you. It's your Personal Directive.

Most adults have not completed any advance care planning, including a Personal Directive. I haven't.

That's why I'm excited that the September Death Cafe includes a workshop for writing your own Personal Directive. We'll start with a regular style Death Cafe, complete with conversation and cake, take a short break, and then spend the last hour in the Personal Directive Workshop.

If you would like to join in, here's what you need to know.

Date: Sunday, September 29th

Time: 2 - 5 PM

Location: The Sage Center ( *Hospice Calgary) 1245 70 Ave. SE

No charge (donations accepted to cover costs of refreshments and printing)

* Although Hospice Calgary generously donates their facility for Death Cafes, the cafes are not Hospice Calgary sponsored events. 

Due to the special workshop, this particular Death Cafe will have limited space. To register your spot, go today to yycdeathcafe@gmail.com. A return email from me confirms your registration. As of Sept 17th, there are only a few spots remaining.

So, DO you need a Personal Directive? If you think it would be a good idea, why not take this opportunity to participate in both the thought-provoking death and dying discussion at a Death Cafe, and the workshop for your own Personal Directive?

Warmly

Wendy