You, your grief, and Easter weekend

Here is it, another holiday, and family and friends are coming together to celebrate. 

Unfortunately, your grief isn't taking a holiday.

Here are a few tips which you might find helpful getting through this Easter weekend.

   1. The anticipation of the day/ holidays often causes a lot of anxiety. However, many bereaved people  say that the lead up time is worse than the actual day. Hold onto the knowledge that although this time may be painful, the actual day will likely be easier than you expect.

2.  Plan ahead how to express grief in a specific time and place – this might include:

a.      Leave an empty chair at the table.

b.      Light a candle, or buy a lily in memory of your loved one.

c.      Go onto a grief support website and write an online tribute about them.

d.      Request prayers at your place of worship.

Be creative. Visualization strategies or art activities seem to work for many people. Having a discussion with the people with whom you’ll be spending the day often generates new ideas as well.

3.  Make a Plan A and B (C, D, and E). Knowing that you can change their plans depending how you’re feeling may help decrease the stress. For example, if Plan A is to go to a relative’s house for dinner, Plan B might be to go to the movies instead.

4.     Do something totally different than the traditional customs. Developing new traditions or rituals can be very validating of your move to engage in tasks related to adapting to a new world without your loved one.

Again, be as creative as you can – there aren’t any “right” or “wrong” ways – just yours.

5.     You may choose to honour the memory of your loved one by helping others during the weekend i.e. volunteer to serve dinner at a Drop-in center.

6.    Focus on, and do the things that will be easy on your emotions and body.

7.      Develop some mantras for coping : for example

·        Be sad. It’s allowed – grief doesn’t take holidays.

·        Laugh. It’s allowed – life goes on.

8.    Spend time with the people that are truly supportive. Sometimes they aren’t family members.

Spring, Easter – times of hope, renewal and life; sometimes it feels so difficult to find these things in the midst of grief. It’s okay. Take one moment at a time when necessary.   

 Breathe.

I hope for you all that you need this weekend.

Warmly

Wendy